ith obstinate
self-possession: "I wish Michael to go!" No explanation followed. With
reason or without it, agreeable to me or not agreeable to me, she wished
Michael to go.

I begged her pardon for interfering, and replied that I would give up
the idea of driving on that day. She made no further remark. I left the
room, determining to watch her. There is no defense for my conduct; it
was mean and unbecoming, no doubt. I was drawn on, by some force in me
which I could not even attempt to resist. Indeed, indeed I am not a mean
person by nature!

At first, I thought of speaking to Michael; not with any special motive,
but simply because I felt drawn toward him as the guide and helper in
whom my heart trusted at this crisis in my life. A little consideration,
however, suggested to me that I might be seen speaking to him, and might
so do him an injury. While I was still hesitating, the thought came to
me that my aunt's motive for sending him to her bookseller might be to
get him out of her way.

Out of her way in the house? No: his place was not in the house. Out of
her way in the stable? The next instant, the idea flashed across my mind
of watching the stable door.

The best bedrooms, my room included, were all in front of the house. I
went up to my maid's room, which looked on the courtyard; ready with my
excuse, if she happened to be there. She was not there. I placed myself
at the window, in full view of the stable opposite.

An interval elapsed--long or short, I cannot say which; I was too much
excited to look at my watch. All I know is that I discovered her! She
crossed the yard, after waiting to make sure that no one was there to
see her; and she entered the stable by the door which led to that part
of the building occupied by Michael. This time I looked at my watch.

Forty minutes passed before I saw her again. And then, instead of
appearing at the door, she showed herself at the window of Michael's
room; throwing it wide open. I concealed myself behind the window
curtain, just in time to escape discovery, as she looked up at the
house. She next appeared in the yard, hurrying back. I waited a while,
trying to compose myself in case I met any one on the stairs. There was
little danger of a meeting at that hour. The General was at his club;
the servants were at their tea. I reached my own room without being seen
by any one, and locked myself in.

What had my aunt been doing for forty minutes in Michael's room?