an adventure he had with a herd of elephants.
Said he: "A young friend asked me once to show him some elephants, and I
took him along with me, having first borrowed an apron and filled it
with oranges. This he was to carry whilst accompanying me in the stable,
but the moment we reached the door the herd set up such a
trumpeting--they had scented the fruit--that he dropped the apron and
its contents, and scuttled off like a scared rabbit. There were eight
elephants, and when I picked up the oranges I found I had twenty-five. I
walked deliberately along the line, giving one to each. When I got to
the extremity of the narrow stable I turned, and was about to begin the
distribution again, when I suddenly reflected that if elephant No. 7 in
the row saw me give two oranges in succession to No. 8 he might imagine
he was being cheated, and give me a smack with his trunk--that is where
the elephant falls short of the human being--so I went to the door and
began at the beginning as before. Thrice I went along the line, and then
I was in a fix. I had one orange left, and I had to get back to the
door. Every elephant in the herd had his greedy gaze focussed on that
orange. It was as much as my life was worth to give it to any one of
them. What was I to do? I held it up conspicuously, coolly peeled it,
and ate it myself. It was most amusing to notice the way those elephants
nudged each other and shook their ponderous sides. They thoroughly
entered into the humor of the thing."

ARITHMETIC.

MAMMA. "Suppose you have four apple-dumplings, Willie, and you eat
three, then what do you have?"

WILLIE. "Nightmare."

IN MEMORIAM.

My broken soldiers, made of lead,
Are buried in the garden bed,
And lovely flowers o'er them play,
For this is Decoration day.

TOMMY'S PROGRESS.

MAMMA. "You may open your school report, Tommy, and tell me how you have
been doing this week."

TOMMY. "Oh, here is the highest mark, mamma, a 1."

MAMMA. "And what is that for, Tommy?"

TOMMY. "Days absent, 1."

JOHNNY'S COUNTING.

JOHNNY. "Mamma, I can count all the way up to twelve."

MAMMA. "And what comes after twelve, Johnny?"

JOHNNY. "Recess."

AN APPEAL.

"Papa," said Jennie, climbing upon her father's knee, "don't you think
that 'stead o' ten cents a week you could give me fifteen?"

"Well, I don't know, my dear," was the answer. "What do you want of the
extra five cents?"

"I thought