r "Month Inside a Flooded Trench."

Are you a broken nervous wreck,
Run short of red corpuscles,
Painfully scraggy in the neck,
And much in need of muscles?
Come to us now--for now's your chance--
And take our "Lively Tour Through Northern France."

* * * * *

[Illustration: DISHONOURED.

CAPTAIN OF THE _EMDEN_. "DIRTY WORK!"]

* * * * *

THE REAL HERO OF THE WAR.

There is an impression about that among the candidates for the
position of real hero of the war KING ALBERT might have a chance; or
even Lord KITCHENER or Sir JOHN FRENCH. But I have my doubts, after
all that I have heard--and I love to hear it and to watch the
different ways in which the tellers narrate it: some so frankly proud,
some just as proud, but trying to conceal their pride. After all that
I have heard I am bound to believe that for the real hero of the war
we must look elsewhere. Not much is printed of this young fellow's
deeds; one gets them chiefly by word of mouth and very largely in club
smoking-rooms. In railway carriages too, and at dinner-parties. These
are the places where the champions most do congregate and hold forth.
And from what they say he is a most gallant and worthy warrior.
Versatile as well, for not only does he fight and bag his Bosch, but
he is wounded and imprisoned. Sometimes he rides a motor cycle,
sometimes he flies, sometimes he has charge of a gun, sometimes he is
doing Red Cross work, and again he helps to bring up the supplies with
the A.S.C. He has been everywhere. He was at Mons and he was at
Cambrai. He marched into Ypres and is rather angry when the Germans
are blamed for shelling the Cloth Hall, because he tells you that
there was a big French gun firmly established behind it, and only by
shelling the building could the enemy hope to destroy that dangerous
piece of ordnance. He saw something of the bombardment of Rheims and
he watched the monitors at work on the Belgian coast.

And not only does he perform some of the best deeds and often get
rewarded for them, but he is a good medium for news too. He hears
things. He's somewhere about when General ---- says something of the
deepest significance to General ----. He knows men high up in the War
Office. He refers lightly to KITCHENER, and staff officers apparently
tell him many of their secrets. He speaks quite casually and
familiarly of WINSTON and what WINSTON said y