is very bad tea, and
see a freshman swallow greasy ham and eggs, enough to turn the stomach
of any one else; and then those Dons always make a point of asking me to
meet a set of regular muffs that I don't know. The last time I went,
there were only two reading-men in spectacles, perfect dummies, and that
ass, young Medlicott, who talks about hunting, and I believe never
crossed the back of anything higher than a donkey."

"You had better come to-morrow; perhaps you will have some fun."

"Why, who is going there, do you know?"

"I haven't a notion; but do come. I must go, and we will sit together,
and I'll get the cook to send up a dish of deviled kidneys for you."

There was something in his eye as he said this which I could not make
out, and it rather puzzled me to find him so willing to be of the party
himself. However, he was an odd fellow, so I promised to go, and we
parted; certainly with little anticipation on my part of what the "fun"
was to be.

Nine o'clock the next day arrived, and punctual to the minute might be
seen two freshmen, from opposite corners of the quadrangle, steering for
the dean's rooms. Ten minutes afterwards, an interesting procession of
coffee-pots and tin-covers warned me to finish my toilet; and following
them up the staircase, I found a tolerably large party assembled.

"Just in time--just in time, Mr Hawthorne," said the dean, who appeared
to be in high good-humour, "as my old pupil, Sir Charles Galston, used
to say, (you don't know him, do you? he's your county man, too, I
believe,)--as he always used to say, 'Gad, Hodgett, just in time to see
the muffins break cover!' ha, ha! Take those tins off, Robert."

We sat down, and for some time every thing went on as slow as it usually
does at breakfast parties. At length, taking advantage of a pause, after
laughing his loudest at one of our host's stories, John Brown broke out
with "How is Mrs Hodgett, sir?"

If Mrs Hodgett, instead of the dean's most respectable mother, had been
his lawful wife, hitherto unacknowledged through fear of losing his
fellowship, he could not have looked more thoroughly horrified. I myself
was considerably taken aback; some of the other men, who knew the
reverend gentleman's tenderness on the subject of his family connexions,
picked their chicken-bones, and stirred their coffee with redoubled
attention. John Brown and the two freshmen alone looked as cool as
cucumbers.

"Eh? oh--h," stammered the party a