is time to come in with requests for payments of the
monthly bills incidental to the upkeep of an office, and it was the
part of wisdom to ascertain before entering the office whether any such
were "at anchor."

His aunt greeted him with a fair amount of cheerfulness, and at once
informed him that she had come to ask that he look after the interests
of her estate.

"I've been acting as my own rent collector for years," she said, "and
I'm getting tired of it. I want you to look after that and after any
legal business arising therefrom, but mind you I'll pay you only the
legal rate, no more, relative or no relative."

They passed into Whimple's room, whence the lady emerged some time
later. William opened the office door for her, and as she passed out
she admonished him to make good use of his time, and "never, never
enter law."

"I'm about as near to it as I'll ever get," answered William politely.

CHAPTER V

This is a chronicle of facts, culled from the life of William Adolphus
Turnpike and other personages, as distinguished from mere history.
Everybody in this age of research and cheap books, to say nothing of
magazines and newspapers, knows that history is not true. It is
established beyond doubt, for instance, that King Richard III. was a
man of loving disposition, and that the story of his being an accessory
to the death of the little princes has no foundation. We know also
that the Scots deliberately planned the loss of the battle of Flodden
in order to pave the way for their modern invasion of England and the
capture of all the good jobs in the empire. They simply lured the
English on, because they knew that no Englishman could live north of
the Tweed and ever get enough to eat, while every Scotsman is
impervious to stomachic or climatic conditions so long as there is a
position to be filled or a bawbee to be paid out.

Here then, sticking to facts, is to be recorded that William Adolphus
Turnpike reached the office one Monday morning, some time after the
events last chronicled, wearing a black eye, an abrased nose, and a
scratched chin. Naturally, Lucien Torrance, office boy to Simmons, the
architect, and therefore on terms of equality with William, demanded an
immediate and detailed explanation, which William proceeded to give.

"Did yer see the lacrosse match between the Easts and the Stars on
Saturday?

"What! yer didn't? Gee! you missed it. Say, there was somethin' doing
nearly ever