,
Of Gaius, Caius, Saul,
Of Andrew, Francois, Ivan, Herman,
Of Caspar, Jasper, Peter, Paul.
Still grandpa stuck for Nehemiah,
And grandma ventured Jedediah.

From Aaron down to Zeph we went,
But Fate is so contrary!
For after the august event
The name we really chose was Mary!
Though grandma much preferred Maria,
And grandpa rooted for Sophia.

FOOTNOTES:

[3] Lippincott's Magazine.

HON. RANSOM PEABODY

BY GEORGE ADE

The Fable of the Hoosier Bill of Fare and How the Women Folks Cooked Up
Things for the Well-known Citizen.

Once upon a Time there was a Hired Hand who felt that he was cut out to
be Somebody. Among the Agriculturists he was said to be too dosh-burned
Toney because he wore gloves when he Toiled and on Sundays put on a slew
of Agony, with sheet-iron Shoes pointed at the End and a neat Derby
purchased in Terry Hut.

Now this Freckled Swain, whose name was Ransom, wanted to hop on the
Inter-Reuben and go zipping away to see the Great World. He wanted to
live in a Big Town where he would not have to walk on the Ploughed
Ground and where he could get something Good to Eat. He was tired of the
plain Vittles out on the Farm. They very seldom had anything on the
Table except Chicken with Gravy, Salt-Rising Bread, Milk, seven or eight
Vegetables, Crulls, Cookies, Apple Butter, Whortleberry Pie, Light
Biscuit, Spare Ribs, Pig's Feet, Hickory Nut Cake and such like. This
thing of drawing up every A. M. to the same old Lay Out of home-made
Sausage, Buckwheat Cakes, Recent Eggs, Fried Mush and Mother's Coffee
was beginning to wear on him. Often he dreamt of being in the
Metropolis, where he could get an Oyster Stew, Sardines, and Ice Cream
in the Winter Time.

At last his Dream came out of the Box. He went up to the City to attend
a Law School and found himself domiciled in a Refined Joint that was a
Cross between a Salon and a Beanery. It was one of those Regular Places
kept by a thin Lady who had once ridden in her Own Carriage. Her Long
Suit was Home Atmosphere. She had the Hall-Ways filled with it. What is
more, she came from an Old Family. Lord Cornwallis once stopped at their
House to get a Drink of Water and George Washington came very near
sleeping in one of the Bed-Rooms. So that made the Board about 50 cents
more on the Week.

Like all high class Boarding Houses, it was infested by some Lovely
People. There was the girl who spelled it Edythe and was ha