ll and found your third 'gram waiting for us. That made us
dead certain that we were late. So we slung on any rags that came handy
and simply flew. We didn't even stay to hook up Hilda's back. I jabbed
three pins into it in the train."

"I'm sorry," I said, "that you troubled to change your frocks. I didn't
expect that you'd have to do that."

"Of course we had. Didn't you know we were in for an exam this morning?"

"I did know that; but I thought you'd have had on your very best so as
to soften the Puffin's heart."

"The poor old Puffin," said Lalage, "wouldn't be any the wiser if we
turned up in our night dresses. He thinks of nothing but parallaxes.
Does he, Hilda?"

Hilda did not answer. She was wriggling her shoulders about, and was
sitting bolt upright in her chair. She leaned back once and when she did
so a spasm of acute pain distorted her face. It occurred to me that one
of the three pins might have been jabbed in too far or not precisely in
the right direction. Lalage could not fairly be blamed, for it must be
difficult to regulate a pin thrust when a tram is in rapid motion, I did
not like the idea of watching Hilda's sufferings during tea, so I
cast about for the most delicate way of suggesting that she should be
relieved. Lalage was beforehand with me.

"Turn round, Hilda," she said, "and I'll hook you up."

"Perhaps," I said, "I'd better ring and get a housemaid."

"What for?" said Lalage.

"I thought perhaps that Hilda might prefer to go to a bedroom. I don't
matter, of course, but Selby-Harrison may be here at any moment."

"Selby-Harrison isn't coming. Turn round, Hilda, and do stand still."

A waiter came in just then with the tea, I regret to say that he
grinned. I turned my back on him and looked out of the window.

"Selby-Harrison," said Lalage, "is on Trinity 3rd A., inside left, and
there's a cup match on to-day, so of course he couldn't come."

"This," I said, "is a great disappointment to me. I've been looking
forward for years to making Selby-Harrison's acquaintance, and every
time I seem to be anywhere near it, something comes and snatches him
away. I'm beginning to think that there isn't really any such person as
Selby-Harrison."

Hilda giggled thickly. She seemed to be quite comfortable again. Lalage
snubbed me severely.

"I must say for you," she said, "that when you choose to go in for
pretending to be an ass you can be more funerally idiotic than any one
I ever met. No w