xieties of people who had not, to our appreciation, a more palpable
existence than the creatures of the heathen mythology! Much grumbling,
and sore of ear, Williams goes back to his kennel.

"What! suppress the mission at Hohen-Schwein-stadt, when I hold here,"
exclaims the Minister, "the admirable report of our diplomatic agent
on the state of public feeling in that important capital? Will the
honourable gentleman, to whose long experience of foreign politics I am
ready to bow, inform me how the relations of England with the
Continent are to be carried on unless through the intervention of
such appointments? Can the honourable member for ------" (a shipowner,
perhaps) "carry on his great and important business without agencies?
Can the honourable gentleman himself" (a brewer) "be certain that the
invigorating and admirable produce of his manufacture will attain the
celebrity that it merits, or become the daily beverage of countless
thousands in the tropics, unassisted by those aids which to commerce
or diplomacy are alike indispensable?" This is very like the Premier's
eloquence. I almost think I am listening to him, and even see the smile
of triumph with which he appeals at the peroration to his friends to
cheer him. Turco is safe this time; and, better still, he need never
bark again till next Easter and another Budget.

It is a very curious thing--it opens a whole realm of speculation--how
small and few are the devices of humanity. We fancy we are progressing
simply because we change. We give up alchemy, and we believe in
medicine; we scout witchcraft, and we take to spirit-rapping;
and instead of monasteries and monks, we have missions and
plenipotentiaries. If it be a fine thing to die for one's country, it's
a pleasant one to live for it; to know that you inhabit an impenetrable
retreat, which no "Own Correspondents" ever invade, and where, if it was
not for Williams, no sense of fear or alarm could come to disturb the
tranquil surface of a stagnant existence.

It is astonishing, too, what a wholesome dread and apprehension of
England and English power is maintained through the means of these small
legations in secluded spots of the Continent, in remote little duchies,
without trade or commerce, far away from the sea, where no one ever
heard of imports or exports, and the name of Gladstone had never been
spoken. In such places as these, a meddlesome old envoy, with plenty of
spare time on hand, often gets us th