and their feats, to a market where
admiration and applause are paid down with a liberal hand; for though
all know their fellows to be impostors, they are content to sink
this knowledge in the desire to gain acceptance and credence for
themselves, and thus there never comes a whisper of doubt, hesitation,
or disbelief to mar the perfect harmony in which the Spurious
Sportsmen live amongst themselves. Yet, when they have separated,
they never fail to hold one another up to ridicule and contempt.

The Spurious Sportsman thus spends the greater part of his life in
building up a reputation out of nothing. As time goes on, he becomes
more and more anecdotically experienced, and, if possible, even less
actual. He will have lost his nerve for riding, and a sight which
gets daily weaker will have caused him to abandon even the pretence of
handling his gun; but he will seek a recompense by becoming a sporting
authority, and will pass a doddering old age in lamenting over
the decay of all those qualities which formerly made a sportsman a
sportsman, and a man a man.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

PARLIAMENTARY.

"_My right honourable and learned friend;_" i.e., "A professional
politician, devoid alike of principle and capacity."

"_I pass from that matter;_" i.e., "Find it somewhat embarrassing."

"_I don't know where my honourable friend gets his facts from;_" i.e.,
"He should try and get out of his inveterate habit of lying."

"_A monument of antiquated Norman tyranny_," or, "_A relic of early
English fraud and ignorance;_" i.e., "A statute which I and my Party
wish to repeal."

"_The most precious constitutional legacy of those who fought and
bled,_" &c., &c.; i.e., Ditto ditto impugned by the opposite Party.

LEGAL.

"_I am instructed, my Lord, that this is, in fact, the case;_" i.e.,
"I see that, as usual, you have got upon a false scent; but as this
suits the book of my client, the solicitor (whose nod at this moment
may mean anything, and, therefore, why not approval?), I encourage the
mistake."

LECTURER AT A BATTLE PANORAMA.

"_It is a well-known historical fact that--;_" i.e., "You needn't
believe a word of it."

"_A bank of heavy clouds lowers in the horizon;_" i.e., "The black
paint has been laid on thick."

"_The plain stretches far away;_" i.e., "About five yards."

* * * * *

'ARRY ON THE 'OLIDAY SEASON.

Dear CH