nothin' more nor less than the
tinkerin', triflin', pettifoggin' dispersition of them two boys.
That's what makes it that there's mo' out-doors inside this bull-pen
than there is on the top of Chunkey Smith's butte; that's what makes it
I can't get up in the mornin' without having myself turned inter a
three-ringed circus. But I ain't the man to complain. Ef there's
anything that gums up the cards of life, it's a kicker; so jes' as one
man to another, I tells you what's wrong here and leaves you to figger
it out fer yerself."

He glanced around on three grave faces with obvious satisfaction. His
wrath had dissipated in the vapour of words. "Nor they ain't such bad
boys, _as_ boys, nuther," he concluded.

"I will examine this matter carefully, Charles," said Steve.

"I thank you, su'," responded Charley, with a courtly sweep of his hand.

"Not at all," insisted Steve, with a duplicate wave. "I beg that you
won't mention it. And now, if you would travel toward the house----"

"_Cer_tainly!"

And out we went into North Dakota's congealed envelope, with the smoke
from the main-house chimney rising three hundred feet into the air, a
snow-white column straight as a mast, Charley stalking majestically
ahead, while we three floundered weakly behind him.

"Ain't he the corker?" gasped Oscar. "When he gets to jumping sideways
among those four-legged words he separates me from my good intentions."

"'With scorn and hoomiliation,'" quoted Steve, and stopped, overcome.

"'I tells you what's the matter and leaves you to figger it out for
yourself,'" I added. Then Charley heard us. He turned and approached,
an awful frown upon his brow.

"May I inquire what is the reason of this yere merriment?" he asked.
The manner was that of a man who proposed to find out. It sat on
Charley with so ludicrous a parody that we were further undone. Steve
raised his hands in deprecation, and spoke in a muffled voice that
broke at intervals.

"Can't I laugh in my own backyard, Charley?" he said. "By the Lord
Harry, I _will_ laugh inside my stakes! No man shall prevent me. The
Constitution of the United States, the Declaration of Independence, and
the Continental Congress give me the right. Now what have you got to
say?"

"I dunno but what you have me whipsawed there, Steve," replied Charley,
scratching his head. "Ef it's your right by the Constitootion, o'
course I ain't goin' to object."

"Do either of you object?" deman