scheme may appear to me, I would rather forget it for ever
than cause him the slightest uneasiness.

"When I first returned to England, attentive to my future
interests, you were so good as to give me hopes of a seat in
Parliament. This seat, it was supposed, would be an expense
of fifteen hundred pounds. This design flattered my vanity,
as it might enable me to shine in so august an assembly. It
flattered a nobler passion: I promised myself that, by the
means of this seat, I might one day be the instrument of
some good to my country. But I soon perceived how little
mere virtuous inclination, unassisted by talents, could
contribute towards that great end, and a very short
examination discovered to me that those talents had not
fallen to my lot. Do not, dear sir, impute this declaration
to a false modesty--the meanest species of pride. Whatever
else I may be ignorant of, I think I know myself, and shall
always endeavour to mention my good qualities without vanity
and my defects without repugnance. I shall say nothing of
the most intimate acquaintance with his country and
language, so absolutely necessary to every senator; since
they may be acquired, to allege my deficiency in them would
seem only the plea of laziness. But I shall say with great
truth that I never possessed that gift of speech, the first
requisite of an orator, which use and labour may improve,
but which nature can alone bestow; that my temper, quiet,
retired, somewhat reserved, could neither acquire
popularity, bear up against opposition, nor mix with ease in
the crowds of public life; that even my genius (if you allow
me any) is better qualified for the deliberate compositions
of the closet than for the extempore discourses of
Parliament. An unexpected objection would disconcert me, and
as I am incapable of explaining to others what I do not
understand myself, I should be meditating when I ought to be
answering. I even want necessary prejudices of party and of
nation. In popular assemblies it is often necessary to
inspire them, and never orator inspired well a passion which
he did not feel himself. Suppose me even mistaken in my own
character, to set out with the repugnance such an opinion
must produce offers but an indifferent prospect. But I hear
you say it