hem Slocums pious
'f you kep' on baptizin' of 'em till the crack o' doom. I never hearn
tell of a Slocum's gittin' baptized in July. They allers take 'em after
the freshets in the spring o' the year, 'n' then they have to be
turrible careful to douse 'em lengthways of the river. Look at him, will
ye? I b'lieve he's grown sence yesterday! If he'd ever stood stiff on
his feet when he was a boy, he needn't 'a' been so everlastin' tall; but
he was forever roostin' on fences' with his laigs danglin', 'n' the heft
of his feet stretched 'em out,--it couldn't do no dif'rent. I ain't got
no patience with him."

"Jabe has considerable many good points," said Miss Cummins loyally;
"he's faithful,--you always know where to find him."

"Good reason why," retorted Samantha. "You always know where to find him
'cause he gen'ally hain't moved sence you seen him last. Gittin'
religion ain't goin' to help him much. If he ever hears tell 'bout the
gate of heaven bein' open 't the last day, he won't 'a' begun to begin
thinkin' 'bout gittin' in tell he hears the door shet in his face; 'n'
then he'll set ri' down's comf'table's if he was inside, 'n' say, 'Wall,
better luck next time: slow an' sure 's my motto!' Good-mornin',
Jabe,--had your dinner?"

"I ain't even hed my breakfast," responded Mr. Slocum easily.

"Blessed are the lazy folks, for they always git their chores done for
'em," remarked Samantha scathingly, as she went to the buttery for
provisions.

"Wall," said Laigs, looking at her with his most irritating smile, as he
sat down at the kitchen table, "I don't find I git thru any more work by
tumblin' out o' bed 't sun-up 'n I dew 'f I lay a spell 'n' let the
univarse git het up 'n' runnin' a leetle mite. 'Slow 'n' easy goes fur
in a day' 's my motto. Rhapseny, she used to say she should think I'd be
ashamed to lay abed so late. 'Wall, I be,' s' I, 'but I'd ruther be
ashamed 'n git up!' But you're an awful good cook, Samanthy, if ye air
allers in a hurry, 'n' if yer hev got a sharp tongue!"

"The less you say 'bout my tongue the better!" snapped Samantha.

"Right you are," answered Jabe with a good-natured grin, as he went on
with his breakfast. He had a huge appetite, another grievance in
Samantha's eyes. She always said "there was no need of his being so
slab-sided 'n' slack-twisted 'n' knuckle-jointed,--that he eat enough in
all conscience, but he wouldn't take the trouble to find the victuals
that would fat him up 'n' f