for five dollars, and is happy when he goes to meeting
dressed up in a four-dollar suit of clothes that has cost him twenty."

"Your theory, my young friend," observed the School-master, "is as
fragile as this cup"--tapping his coffee-cup. "The countryman of whom
you speak is up and doing long before you or I or your successful
merchant, who has waxed great on noise as you put it, is awake. If the
early bird catches the worm, what becomes of your theory?"

"The early bird does get the bait," replied the Idiot. "But he does not
catch the fish, and I'll offer the board another wager that the Belgian
block merchant is wider awake at 8 A.M., when he first opens his eyes,
than his suburban brother who gets up at five is all day. It's the
extent to which the eyes are opened that counts, and as for your
statement that the fact that prosperity and noisy streets go hand in
hand is true only because it happens to be so, that is an argument which
may be applied to any truth in existence. I am because I happen to be,
not because I am. You are what you are because you are, because if you
were not, you would not be what you are."

"Your logic is delightful," said the School-master, scornfully.

"I strive to please," replied the Idiot. "But I do agree with the
Bibliomaniac that our streets are far from perfection," he added. "In my
opinion they should be laid in strata. On the ground-floor should be the
sewers and telegraph pipes; above this should be the water-mains, then
a layer for trucks, then a broad stratum for carriages, above which
should be a promenade for pedestrians. The promenade for pedestrians
should be divided into four sections--one for persons of leisure, one
for those in a hurry, one for peddlers, and one for beggars."

"Highly original," said the Bibliomaniac.

"And so cheap," added the School-master.

"In no part of the world," said the Idiot, in response to the last
comment, "do we get something for nothing. Of course this scheme would
be costly, but it would increase prosperity--"

"Ha! ha!" laughed the School-master, satirically.

"Laugh away, but you cannot gainsay my point. Our prosperity would
increase, for we should not be always excavating to get at our pipes;
our surface cars with a clear track would gain for us rapid transit, our
truck-drivers would not be subjected to the temptations of stopping by
the way-side to overturn a coupe, or to run down a pedestrian; our fine
equipages would in conseq