old,
hey? Then you come this way a week from to-day, and you'll see Gideon
Ward and Pharline Pike married as tight as a parson can tie the knot.
I mean it!" The excitement of the moment, his rage at interference
in his affairs, his desire to triumph thus publicly over these
strangers, had led him into the declaration.

The spinster gasped, but she came to him and trustfully put her hand
on his arm.

"P'raps some can be put off by that bluff," said the man with the
swollen nose, "but not me that has travelled. I'm here on business,
and I've got the dockyments, and if there's any shenanigan, then some
one's got to pay me my expenses, and for wear and tear." He waved
a paper.

Ward leaped forward and snatched the paper from his grasp.

"It's about time for me to see what you're flourishing round here
promiskous, like a bill o' sale of these primises," he snarled.

"You can read it, and read it out jest as loud as you want to," said
the man, coming forward and putting a grimy finger on a paragraph
displayed prominently on the folded sheet of newspaper.

The Colonel took one look and choked. An officious neighbor grabbed
away the paper when Ward made a sign as though to tuck it into his
pocket.

"I'll read it," said the neighbor. "Mebbe my eyesight is better'n
yourn." Then he read, in shrill tones:

"NOTICE TO BACHELORS

"Unmarried maiden lady, smart and good-looking, desires good husband.
Has two-hundred-and-thirty-acre farm in good state of cultivation,
well stocked, and will promise right party a home and much affection.
Apply on premises to Pharlina Pike, Smyrna."

"I never--I never--dadrat the liar that ever wrote that!" screamed
the spinster.

"You see for yourself," said the man of the swollen nose, ignoring
her disclaimer. "We're here on business, and expect to be treated
like business men--or expenses refunded to us."

But the Colonel roared wordlessly, like some angry animal, seized
a pitchfork that was leaning against the side of the spinster's ell,
and charged the group of suitors. His mien was too furious. They fled,
and fled far and forever.

"There's some one," said Ward, returning into the yard and driving
the fork-tines into the ground, "who has insulted Miss Pike. I'd give
a thousand dollars to know who done that writin'."

Only bewildered stares met his furious gaze.

"I want you to understand," he went on, "that no one can drive me
to git married till I'm ready. But I'm standin' he