FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   125   126   127   128   129   130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   141   142   143   144   145   146   147   148   149  
150   151   152   153   154   155   156   >>  
on the largest scale, he asks, but the same recurrent inanities, the same dog barking, the same fly buzzing, forevermore? Yet of the kind of fibre of which such inanities consist is the material woven of all the excitements, joys, and meanings that ever were, or ever shall be, in this world. To be rapt with satisfied attention, like Whitman, to the mere spectacle of the world's presence, is one way, and the most fundamental way, of confessing one's sense of its unfathomable significance and importance. But how can one attain to the feeling of the vital significance of an experience, if one have it not to begin with? There is no receipt which one can follow. Being a secret and a mystery, it often comes in mysteriously unexpected ways. It blossoms sometimes from out of the very grave wherein we imagined that our happiness was buried. Benvenuto Cellini, after a life all in the outer sunshine, made of adventures and artistic excitements, suddenly finds himself cast into a dungeon in the Castle of San Angelo. The place is horrible. Rats and wet and mould possess it. His leg is broken and his teeth fall out, apparently with scurvy. But his thoughts turn to God as they have never turned before. He gets a Bible, which he reads during the one hour in the twenty-four in which a wandering ray of daylight penetrates his cavern. He has religious visions. He sings psalms to himself, and composes hymns. And thinking, on the last day of July, of the festivities customary on the morrow in Rome, he says to himself: "All these past years I celebrated this holiday with the vanities of the world: from this year henceforward I will do it with the divinity of God. And then I said to myself, 'Oh, how much more happy I am for this present life of mine than for all those things remembered!'"[L] [L] Vita, lib. 2, chap. iv. But the great understander of these mysterious ebbs and flows is Tolstoi. They throb all through his novels. In his 'War and Peace,' the hero, Peter, is supposed to be the richest man in the Russian empire. During the French invasion he is taken prisoner, and dragged through much of the retreat. Cold, vermin, hunger, and every form of misery assail him, the result being a revelation to him of the real scale of life's values. "Here only, and for the first time, he appreciated, because he was deprived of it, the happiness of eating when he was hungry, of drinking when he was thirsty, of sleeping when he was sleepy, and
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   125   126   127   128   129   130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   141   142   143   144   145   146   147   148   149  
150   151   152   153   154   155   156   >>  



Top keywords:
significance
 

inanities

 

happiness

 

excitements

 

divinity

 
things
 
present
 

visions

 
psalms
 

composes


thinking

 

religious

 
wandering
 

daylight

 
penetrates
 

cavern

 
celebrated
 
holiday
 

vanities

 

festivities


customary

 

morrow

 

remembered

 

henceforward

 

novels

 

assail

 

misery

 

result

 

revelation

 

retreat


dragged

 
vermin
 

hunger

 

values

 

drinking

 
hungry
 

thirsty

 
sleeping
 

sleepy

 
eating

deprived
 

appreciated

 
prisoner
 
Tolstoi
 

mysterious

 

understander

 
empire
 

Russian

 
During
 

French