"Who used it?"

"Why, I did: he said he wouldn't stand my eating liquorice, and I told
him that I shouldn't eat any more. No more I have, but I ain't well, and
I prescribes for myself. Haven't I a right to do that? Mayn't I physic
myself? I am a doctor as well as he is. Who makes up all the medicine, I
should like to know? who ties up the bottles and writes directions?
Well, my insides are out of order, and I prescribes for myself--black
draughts 'omnes duas horas sumendum'; and now he says that, as the
ingredients are all gone, I shan't take any more."

"And pray what were the ingredients, Tom?"

"Why, laxative and alterative, as suits my complaint--Extract.
liquor.--aqua pura--haustus."

"And what is that?"

"_Liquorice and water_, to be sure; there's nothing else I can take.
I've tasted everything in the shop, from plate powder to aqua fortis,
and everything goes against my stomach."

"Well, Tom, it's a hard case; but perhaps the doctor will think better
of it"

"He'd better, or I'll set up for myself, for I won't stand it any
longer; it ain't only for myself but for others that I care. Why, I've a
hankering for Anny Whistle (you know her, don't you?), a pretty little
girl with red lips--lives in Church Street. Well, as long as I could
bring her a bit of liquorice when I went to see her all was smooth
enough, and I got many a kiss when no one was nigh; but now that I can't
fork out a bit as big as a marble, she's getting quite shy of me, and is
always walking with Bill, the butcher's boy. I know he gives her bull's
eyes--I seed him one day buying a ha'p'orth. Now, ain't that hard?"

"Why, certainly, the affair becomes serious; but, still, how you are to
set up for yourself I don't know. You are not qualified."

"Oh! ain't I? Just as much as most doctors are. There must be a
beginning, and if I gives wrong medicine at first, then I'll try
another, and so on, until I come to what will cure them. Soon learn,
Tom."

"Well, but how will you do about surgery?"

"Surgery? Oh, I'll do very well; don't know much about it just now--soon
learn."

"Why, would you venture to take off a man's leg, Tom? Do you know how to
take up the arteries?"

"Would I take off a man's leg? To be sure I would, as quick as the
doctor could. As for the arteries, why, I might puzzle a little about
them; but by the time I had taken off three or four legs I should know
something about them. Practice makes perfect--soon learn, Tom."