rls in our village, that I gave him what I never can
give to another, the first, deep love of my girlish heart. For nearly a
whole year I wore his betrothal ring upon my finger, when I saw to my
utter anguish and dismay that he was fast becoming a drunkard. Oh! Mr.
Clifford if I could have saved him I would have taken blood from every
vein and strength from every nerve. We met frequently at entertainments.
I noticed time after time, the effects of the wine he had imbibed, upon
his manner and conversation. At first I shrank from remonstrating with
him, until the burden lay so heavy on my heart that I felt I must speak
out, let the consequences be what they might. And so one evening I told
him plainly and seriously my fears about his future. He laughed lightly
and said my fears were unfounded; that I was nervous and giving away to
idle fancies; that his father always had wine at the table, and that he
had never seen him under the influence of liquor. Silenced, but not
convinced, I watched his course with painful solicitude. All
remonstrances on my part seemed thrown away; he always had the precedent
of his father to plead in reply to my earnest entreaties. At last when
remonstrances and entreaties seemed to be all in vain, I resolved to
break the engagement. It may have been a harsh and hard alternative, but
I would not give my hand where my respect could not follow. It may be
that I thought too much of my own happiness, but I felt that marriage
must be for me positive misery or positive happiness, and I feared that
if I married a man so lacking in self-control as to become a common
drunkard, that when I ceased to love and respect him, I should be
constantly tempted to hate and despise him. I think one of the saddest
fates that can befall a woman is to be tied for life to a miserable
bloated wreck of humanity. There may be some women with broad generous
hearts, and great charity, strong enough to lift such men out of the
depths, but I had no such faith in my strength and so I gave him back
his ring. He accepted it, but we parted as friends. For awhile after our
engagement was broken, we occasionally met at the houses of our mutual
friends in social gatherings and I noticed with intense satisfaction
that whenever wine was offered he scrupulously abstained from ever
tasting a drop, though I think at times his self-control was severely
tested. Oh! what hope revived in my heart. Here I said to myself is
compensation for all I h