ay. Then when they get
older and have to go to school you soon find out that you have loved
THEM far more than they have loved or ever WILL love YOU!"
As she said this her voice trembled a little and she sighed.
"I see! I think I quite understand!" said Morgana--"And it is just what
I have always imagined--there is no great happiness in marriage. If it
is only a matter of 'rubbing along pleasantly together' two friends can
always do that without any 'sex' attraction, or tying themselves up
together for life. And it's not much joy to bring children into the
world and waste treasures of love on them, if after you have done all
you can, they leave you without a regret,--like the birds that fly from
a nest when once they know how to use their wings."
Lady Kingswood's eyes were sorrowful.
"My daughter was a very pretty girl,"--she said--"Her father and I were
proud of her looks and her charm of manner. We spared every shilling we
could to give her the best and most careful education--and we
surrounded her with as much pleasure and comfort at home as
possible,--but at the first experience of 'society,' and the flattery
of strangers, she left us. Her choice of a husband was most
unfortunate--but she would not listen to our advice, though we had
loved her so much--she thought 'he' loved her more."
Morgana lifted her eyes. The "fey" light was glittering in them.
"Yes! She thought he loved her! That's what many a woman thinks--that
'he'--the particular 'he' loves her! But how seldom he does! How much
more often he loves himself!"
"You must not be cynical, my dear!" said Lady Kingswood, gently--"Life
is certainly full of disappointments, especially in love and
marriage--but we must endure our sorrows patiently and believe that God
does everything for the best."
This was the usual panacea which the excellent lady offered for all
troubles, and Morgana smiled.
"Yes!--it must be hard work for God!" she said--"Cruel work! To do
everything for the best and to find it being turned into the worst by
the very creatures one seeks to benefit, must be positive torture!
Well, dear 'Duchess,' I asked you all these questions about love and
marriage just to know if you could say anything that might alter my
views--but you have confirmed them. I feel that there is no such thing
in the world as the love _I_ want--and marriage without it would be
worse than any imagined hell. So I shall not marry."
Lady Kingswood's face express
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