peace with God and itself and all the
world! A soul capable of sordid jealousies and suspicions; of selfish
animosities and ungenerous hatred--and against a comrade! He covered his
face with both hands in bitter humiliation. Only five minutes ago he
had been dreaming of martyrdom; and now he had been guilty of a mean and
petty thought like this!
When he entered the seminary chapel on Thursday morning he found Father
Cardi alone. After repeating the Confiteor, he plunged at once into the
subject of his last night's backsliding.
"My father, I accuse myself of the sins of jealousy and anger, and of
unworthy thoughts against one who has done me no wrong."
Farther Cardi knew quite well with what kind of penitent he had to deal.
He only said softly:
"You have not told me all, my son."
"Father, the man against whom I have thought an unchristian thought is
one whom I am especially bound to love and honour."
"One to whom you are bound by ties of blood?"
"By a still closer tie."
"By what tie, my son?"
"By that of comradeship."
"Comradeship in what?"
"In a great and holy work."
A little pause.
"And your anger against this--comrade, your jealousy of him, was called
forth by his success in that work being greater than yours?"
"I--yes, partly. I envied him his experience--his usefulness. And
then--I thought--I feared--that he would take from me the heart of the
girl I--love."
"And this girl that you love, is she a daughter of the Holy Church?"
"No; she is a Protestant."
"A heretic?"
Arthur clasped his hands in great distress. "Yes, a heretic," he
repeated. "We were brought up together; our mothers were
friends--and I--envied him, because I saw that he loves her, too, and
because--because----"
"My son," said Father Cardi, speaking after a moment's silence, slowly
and gravely, "you have still not told me all; there is more than this
upon your soul."
"Father, I----" He faltered and broke off again.
The priest waited silently.
"I envied him because the society--the Young Italy--that I belong
to------"
"Yes?"
"Intrusted him with a work that I had hoped--would be given to me, that
I had thought myself--specially adapted for."
"What work?"
"The taking in of books--political books--from the steamers that bring
them--and finding a hiding place for them--in the town------"
"And this work was given by the party to your rival?"
"To Bolla--and I envied him."
"And he gave you n
|