ever happened in Fife. The kingdom of Fife is
noted, it seems, for its 'doocots [dovecots] and its daft lairds,'
and to be eccentric and Fifish are one and the same thing. Thereupon
Francesca told Mr. Macdonald a story she heard in Edinburgh, to the
effect that when a certain committee or council was quarrelling as
to which of certain Fifeshire towns should be the seat of a projected
lunatic asylum, a new resident arose and suggested that the building of
a wall round the kingdom of Fife would solve the difficulty, settle
all disputes, and give sufficient room for the lunatics to exercise
properly.

This is the sort of tale that a native can tell with a genial chuckle,
but it comes with poor grace from an American lady sojourning in Fife.
Francesca does not mind this, however, as she is at present avenging
fresh insults to her own beloved country.

Chapter XXI. International bickering.

With mimic din of stroke and ward
The broadsword upon target jarr'd.

The Lady of the Lake.

Robin Anstruther was telling stories at the tea-table.

"I got acquainted with an American girl in rather a queer sort of
way," he said, between cups. "It was in London, on the Duke of York's
wedding-day. I'm rather a tall chap, you see, and in the crowd somebody
touched me on the shoulder, and a plaintive voice behind me said,
'You're such a big man, and I am so little, will you please help me to
save my life? My mother was separated from me in the crowd somewhere as
we were trying to reach the Berkeley, and I don't know what to do.'
I was a trifle nonplussed, but I did the best I could. She was a tiny
thing, in a marvellous frock and a flowery hat and a silver girdle and
chatelaine. In another minute she spied a second man, an officer, a full
head taller than I am, broad shoulders, splendidly put up altogether.
Bless me! if she didn't turn to him and say, 'Oh, you're so nice and
big, you're even bigger than this other gentleman, and I need you both
in this dreadful crush. If you'll be good enough to stand on either
side of me, I shall be awfully obliged.' We exchanged amused glances
of embarrassment over her blonde head, but there was no resisting the
irresistible. She was a small person, but she had the soul of a general,
and we obeyed orders. We stood guard over her little ladyship for nearly
an hour, and I must say she entertained us thoroughly, for she was as
clever as she was pretty. Then I got her a seat in one of th