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I never thought I'd wish to see That pile of wood again; Back then it only seemed to me A source of care and pain. But now I'd gladly give my all To stand where once I stood, If those rare days I could recall When mother cooked with wood. Midnight in the Pantry You can boast your round of pleasures, praise the sound of popping corks, Where the orchestra is playing to the rattle of the forks; And your after-opera dinner you may think superbly fine, But that can't compare, I'm certain, to the joy that's always mine When I reach my little dwelling--source, of all sincere delight-- And I prowl around the pantry in the waning hours of night. When my business, or my pleasure, has detained me until late, And it's midnight, say, or after, when I reach my own estate, Though I'm weary with my toiling I don't hustle up to bed, For the inner man is hungry and he's anxious to be fed; Then I feel a thrill of glory from my head down to my feet As I prowl around the pantry after something good to eat. Oft I hear a call above me: "Goodness gracious, come to bed!" And I know that I've disturbed her by my overeager tread, But I've found a glass of jelly and some bread and butter, too, And a bit of cold fried chicken and I answer: "When I'm through!" Oh, there's no cafe that better serves my precious appetite Than the pantry in our kitchen when I get home late at night. You may boast your shining silver, and the linen and the flowers, And the music and the laughter and the lights that hang in showers; You may have your cafe table with its brilliant array, But it doesn't charm yours truly when I'm on my homeward way; For a greater joy awaits me, as I hunger for a bite-- Just the joy of pantry-prowling in the middle of the night. The World Is Against Me "The world is against me," he said with a sigh. "Somebody stops every scheme that I try. The world has me down and it's keeping me there; I don't get a chance. Oh, the world is unfair! When a fellow is poor then he can't get a show; The world is determined to keep him down low." "
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