udge in shrill tones that
he ought to boil his head. The fat man stalked majestically into the
stewards' stand, and on being asked how he came to give Spite the
second prize, remarked oracularly: "I judge the 'orse, I don't judge the
rider." This silenced criticism, and everyone adjourned to have a drink.

Over the flowing bowl the fat man said: "You see, I don't believe in
this nonsense about points. I can judge 'em without that."

Twenty dissatisfied competitors vowed they would never bring another
horse there in their lives. Gaslight's owner said: "Blimey, I knew it
would be all right with old Billy judging. 'E knows this 'orse."

THE DOG

The dog is a member of society who likes to have his day's work, and who
does it more conscientiously than most human beings. A dog always looks
as if he ought to have a pipe in his mouth and a black bag for his
lunch, and then he would go quite happily to office every day.

A dog without work is like a man without work, a nuisance to himself and
everybody else. People who live about town, and keep a dog to give the
children hydatids and to keep the neighbours awake at night, imagine
that the animal is fulfilling his destiny. All town dogs, fancy dogs,
show dogs, lap-dogs, and other dogs with no work to do, should be
abolished; it is only in the country that a dog has any justification
for his existence.

The old theory that animals have only instinct, not reason, to guide
them, is knocked endways by the dog. A dog can reason as well as a human
being on some subjects, and better on others, and the best reasoning dog
of all is the sheep-dog. The sheep-dog is a professional artist with a
pride in his business. Watch any drover's dogs bringing sheep into
the yards. How thoroughly they feel their responsibility, and how very
annoyed they get if a stray dog with no occupation wants them to stop
and fool about! They snap at him and hurry off, as much as to say: "You
go about your idleness. Don't you see this is my busy day?"

Sheep-dogs are followers of Thomas Carlyle. They hold that the only
happiness for a dog in this life is to find his work and to do it. The
idle, 'dilettante', non-working, aristocratic dog they have no use for.

The training of a sheep-dog for his profession begins at a very early
age. The first thing is to take him out with his mother and let him see
her working. He blunders lightheartedly, frisking along in front of the
horse, and his owner tries t