ming, virtuous
woman?--Methinks, my friend, you relish not my joy. What is the cause?

_Colonel S._ Canst thou not guess?--What is the bane of man, and scourge
of life, but woman?--What is the heathenish idol man sets up, and is
damned for worshipping? Treacherous woman.--Woman, whose composition
inverts humanity; their bodies heavenly, but their souls are clay.

_Sir H._ Come, come, colonel, this is too much: I know your wrongs
received from Lurewell may excuse your resentment against her. But it is
unpardonable to charge the failings of a single woman upon the whole
sex. I have found one, whose virtues----

_Colonel S._ So have I, Sir Harry; I have found one whose pride's above
yielding to a prince. And if lying, dissembling, perjury, and falsehood,
be no breaches in a woman's honour, she is as innocent as infancy.

_Sir H._ Well, colonel, I find your opinion grows stronger by
opposition; I shall now, therefore, wave the argument, and only beg you
for this day to make a show of complaisance at least.--Here comes my
charming bride.

_Enter_ LADY DARLING _and_ ANGELICA.

_Colonel S._ [_Saluting_ ANGELICA.] I wish you, madam, all the joys of
love and fortune.

_Enter_ CLINCHER JUNIOR.

_Clinch. jun._ Gentlemen and ladies, I'm just upon the spur, and have
only a minute to take my leave.

_Sir H._ Whither are you bound, sir?

_Clinch. jun._ Bound, sir! I'm going to the Jubilee, sir.

_Lady D._ Bless me, cousin! how came you by these clothes?

_Clinch. jun._ Clothes! ha! ha! ha! the rarest jest! ha! ha! ha! I shall
burst, by Jupiter Ammon--I shall burst.

_Lady D._ What's the matter, cousin?

_Clinch. jun._ The matter! ha! ha! Why, an honest porter, ha! ha! ha!
has knocked out my brother's brains--ha! ha! ha!

_Sir H._ A very good jest, i'faith--ha! ha! ha!

_Clinch. jun._ Ay, sir; but the best jest of all is, he knocked out his
brains with a hammer--and so he is as dead as a door-nail! ha! ha! ha!

_Lady D._ And do you laugh, wretch?

_Clinch. jun._ Laugh! ha! ha! ha! let me see e'er a younger brother in
England, that won't laugh at such a jest!

_Ang._ You appeared a very sober, pious gentleman, some hours ago.

_Clinch. jun._ Pshaw! I was a fool then; but now, madam, I'm a wit; I
can rake now. As for your part, madam, you might have had me once; but
now, madam, if you should fall to eating chalk, or gnawing the sheets,
it is none of my fault. Now, madam, I have got an estate, and I must go
to the