he was three; and I had scarcely become reconciled to this
grief when my husband was also taken from me. So I centered all my hopes
on my son--on Fairfax. As he grew older, however, and as the Civil War
came nearer, I noticed that he talked more and more in sympathy with the
North, and this distressed me terribly. However, I thought it best not
to say much about it to him, for he was a headstrong boy, and had always
resented opposition. And I felt sure that he would see things
differently when he was older.

"I wished to send him to a Southern college, but he begged me to send
him to Harvard. As his heart was so set on it, I couldn't deny him,
thinking that even this would make little difference in the end. Then
came the crisis in the country's affairs, and the Confederacy was
declared. I had already begun to correspond with Southern authorities,
to arrange about raising a company for Fairfax. I never doubted that he
would comply with my wishes. But I little knew him!

"I hardly need to tell you of the awful day that he came home. You are
already acquainted with the history of it. That afternoon, shortly after
he arrived, we had our interview. I have always possessed the most
violent temper a mortal had to struggle with. And in those earlier
years, when I got into a rage, it blinded me to everything else, to
every other earthly consideration. And during that interview,
well,--need I say it?--Fairfax was simply immovable,--gentle and loving
always,--but I could no more impress him with my wishes than I could
have moved the Rock of Gibraltar. The galling part to me was--that he
kept insisting he was only doing what was _right_! Right?-- How _could_
he be right when it was all directly contrary-- But never mind that
now! I have learned differently, with the passing, sorrowful years.

"But, to go back,--I stood it as long as I could, and then,--I turned
from him, disowned him, bade him leave the house at once and never see
my face again, and informed him that I myself would abandon the place on
the morrow, and return to the South. He left me, without another word,
and went to his room. I immediately summoned the servants and dismissed
them on the spot, giving them only time to get their things together and
go. Then I locked myself in my room till--he was gone. He came several
times, knocked at my door, and begged me to see him, but I would not.
Heaven forgive me!-- I would not! So he must have left me--that note!"
She cov