and nieces deported, and refuse to perform Honest Work--yet remain
a hopeless slave to the _Book of Etiquette_. In a Pullman car, with a
ticket for the lower berth, he will take the seat facing backward, only to
tremble and blush with shame on learning his social error. Who has not
suffered the mortification of picking up the fork that was on the floor
and then finding out afterward that it was the function of the waiter to
pick up the fork? What is a girl to do if, escorted home at night from the
dance, she finds the hour is rather late and yet her folks are still up?
Whether she should invite the young man in or ask him to call again, she
is sure to do the wrong thing. Then there are those wedding days, the
proudest and happiest of a girl's life, when she slips her hand into the
arm of the wrong man or otherwise gives herself away before she is given
away. Tragedy lurks in such trifles. Don Stewart, who has suffered
countless mortifications and heartbreaks from just such little things as
these, determined that something shall be done to spare others his own
unfortunate experiences.

_Perfect Behaviour_ is the result of his brave determination. It is a book
that will be constantly in demand until society is abolished. Then, too,
there is that new behaviouristic psychology. You have not heard of that? I
can only assure you that Mr. Stewart's great work is founded upon all the
most recent principles of behaviouristic psychology. Noted scientists will
undoubtedly endorse it. You will endorse it yourself, and you will be able
to cash in on it.

Stewart wrote _A Parody Outline of History_ for The Bookman. When the idea
was broached, John Farrar, editor of The Bookman, was about the only
person who saw the possibilities. Response to the _Parody Outline of
History_ was immediate, spontaneous and unanimous. When the chapters
appeared as a book, this magnificent take-off of contemporary American
writers as well as of H. G. Wells leaped at once into the place of a best
seller. It remains one. The thing that it accomplished is not likely to be
well done again for years.

=iii=

_Neither Here Nor There_ is the title of a new book by Oliver Herford,
author of _This Giddy Globe_.

I do not know which is funnier, Herford or his books. Among the
unforgotten occasions was one when he was in the Doran office talking
about a forthcoming book and nibbling on animal crackers. Suddenly he
stopped nibbling and exclaimed with a gasp of