ly and well is it furnished, with chairs and with tables and couches,
Couches beyond computation, and all of them soon to be sat on;
So may you see that the play will be dialogue rather than action.
Pleasant and fresh in the footlights the chintzes with which they are covered,
Giving a summer effect, helped out by the plants in the fireplace.
Curtains at each of the windows are flooded with limelight of amber,
Whence you may learn that the time is a fine afternoon in the season.
Centre of back a piano, whose makers are told on the programme,
Promises snatches of song, or it may be a heartbroken solo.
Carpets and rugs and the like you can fill in without any prompting;
Pictures and china and books, and photographs circled in silver.
Yes, you may take it from us that the piece has been mounted regardless.

[_Enter the leading lady. She just pushes the back-curtains apart and
emerges on to the stage, dressed in any old thing (what a saving!). The
Chorus continues ecstatically._]

See where the heroine comes, flinging open the door from the staircase
(Marked you the head of the stairs and the artist-proof on the landing?
That's what I call realistic). She's threaded her way through the couches,
Sinks upon one for an instant, then rises and walks to the window,
Showing the back of her gown to be fully as chic as the front part.
So to the door (in the curtain) and slams it with signs of emotion,
Slams it so hard and so fierce that the walls of the room are a-quiver;
Even the opposite side of the roadway, as seen through the windows,
Shares in the general movement, as though it were struck by an earthquake.

And so on. You catch the idea? Bare boards, a passion and a Chorus; and
the management would save enough to make the amusement-tax a matter of
indifference.

* * * * *

NURSERY RHYMES OF LONDON TOWN.

V.--SWISS COTTAGE.

I heard a Jodeller
In a Swiss cottage
Eating a crust
And a bowlful of pottage.

He jodelled and jodelled
'Twixt every bite;
He jodelled until
Not a crumb was in sight.

He jodelled and jodelled
'Twixt every sup;
He jodelled until
He had drunk it all up.

He put down his bowl
And he came to the door,
And jodelled and jodelled
And jodelled for more!

* * * * *

"The exportation of the following goods is prohibited to all
destinati