g
together about God, and the Christian life in general, which so
affected him that he said to himself, "O God! what men are these?
Where did they come from? Are there such people still in the world?"
This he told us afterwards. However, it took such hold of his heart,
that he more earnestly resolved to reform his life, while the devil,
being more displeased, assailed him the more violently. His wife was a
very ill-natured woman, scolding, growling, cursing and swearing at
him, as well as at their children, and constantly finding fault with
him, through her avarice, because he did not do more work, although he
wrought continually, and as much as three other men. Their children,
collectively, were very bad and saucy, and cursed and swore at each
other, except the oldest, a daughter, who appeared to be the best of
them. This man being in such a state was pressed on all sides. He
sometimes, but not often, came to our house, and as we knew nothing of
his condition, we only addressed to him occasionally a general remark.
However, his time and that of the Lord were approaching. He heard a
sermon upon the requisites of communicants of the Lord's supper, which
he had never as yet enjoyed; and was thrown very much aback, abhorring
himself and many others, who went to it, yet pursued as wicked lives
as he did. For himself, he saw no probability of his ever being able
to partake of it, conscious as he was of his being wicked and
unworthy. He saw no means of release, and found no help or consolation
wherever he went or came. To go to his minister would, he thought,
render him little good, as he knew by several examples. He kept his
condition concealed from us, and did not dare speak to us, so that he
was in distress for himself, his family, and his entire state, and
often wishing to die. This caused him to live in continual variance
and quarrelling with his neighbors. He lost several cows and other
cattle, by which he suffered great damage. A little daughter, about
fourteen years old, who lived with her grandmother, was so badly
ruptured, that there was no probability of her being cured, or ever
being fit to be married. He had bought a piece of land, in common with
Arie, his brother-in-law, to make tillable land out of the rough
woods. It was to him like dead fruit. He worked on it three times as
much as the other did, in felling and chopping trees, and making the
best of it into timber, which was carried to the city with little or