picture from the colours of your imagination, with
incidents of no peculiar value, and I again resume my narrative.

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN.

A CHAPTER OF LOSSES TO ALL BUT THE READER, THOUGH AT FIRST TOM WORKS
WITH HIS WIT, AND RECEIVES THE FULL VALUE OF HIS EXERTIONS--WE MAKE THE
VERY WORST BARGAIN WE EVER MADE IN OUR LIVES--WE LOSE OUR FARE, WE LOSE
OUR BOAT, AND WE LOSE OUR LIBERTY--ALL LOSS AND NO PROFIT--FAIR VERY
UNFAIR--TWO GUINEAS WORTH OF ARGUMENT NOT WORTH TWOPENCE, EXCEPT ON THE
QUARTER-DECK OF A MAN-OF-WAR.

"Jacob," said Tom to me, pulling his wherry into the _hard_, alongside
of mine, in which I was sitting with one of Mr Turnbull's books in my
hand; "Jacob, do you recollect that my time is up to-morrow? I shall
have run off my seven years, and when the sun rises I shall be free of
the river. How much more have you to serve?"

"About fifteen months, as near as I can recollect, Tom.--Boat, sir?"

"Yes; oars, my lad; be smart, for I am in a hurry. How's tide?"

"Down, sir, very soon; but it's now slack water. Tom, see if you can
find Stapleton."

"Pooh! never mind him, Jacob, I'll go with you. I say, Jones, tell old
`_human natur'_' to look after my boat," continued Tom, addressing a
waterman of our acquaintance.

"I thought you had come up to see _her_," said I to Tom, as we shoved
off.

"See _her_ at Jericho first," replied Tom "she's worse than a dog vane."

"What, are you _two_ again?"

"Two indeed--it's all two--we are two fools. She is too fanciful; I am
too fond; she behaves too ill, and I put up with too much. However,
it's all _one_."

"I thought it was all _two_ just now, Tom."

"But two may be made one, Jacob, you know."

"Yes, by the parson: but you are no parson."

"Anyhow, I am something like one just now," replied Tom, who was pulling
the foremost oar; "for you are a good clerk, and I am sitting behind
you."

"That's not so bad," observed the gentleman in the stern-sheets, whom we
had forgotten in the colloquy.

"A waterman would make but a bad parson, sir," replied Tom.

"Why so?"

"He's not likely to practice as he preaches."

"Again, why so?"

"Because all his life he looks one way and pulls another."

"Very good--very good, indeed."

"Nay, sir, good in practice, but still not good _in deed_--there's a
puzzle."

"A puzzle, indeed, to find such a regular chain of repartee in a
wherry."

"Well, sir, if I'm a regular chain to-day, I shall be like an