ts pain? For
pain it surely is when no sleep comes near you, and the every-day duties
of life only weary you, and your sole desire is to dream over looks and
words you cannot forget. It is surely pain when a thousand doubts assail
you, when you weigh yourself in the balance and find yourself wanting.

A hundred times each day I found myself wondering whether Sir John would
think me good enough for his daughter. She was not his heiress, I knew,
for he had a son at college, but she was lovely, high-born,
accomplished, and my one great puzzle was whether he would think me a
good match for her.

Other doubts came to madden me. Perhaps she was already engaged. She had
doubtless a number of admirers. Who was I that I should dare to hope for
her favor?

It was only two days since I had seen her, and I longed to see her
again. A fierce, wild desire to look once more into that sweet face took
possession of me. When my longing was gratified the very gates of
Paradise seemed opened to me. One beautiful morning Lady Thesiger and
Agatha came over to Crown Anstey. It so happened that I was in Clare's
room when they arrived, and Coralie, too, was there, attending to the
flowers, giving them fresh water, cutting off dead leaves and gathering
the fairest buds.

Lady Thesiger and Miss Thesiger were suddenly announced. Clare looked
eagerly, and I just caught the dark, bitter expression on Coralie's
face; then they entered. As a matter of course, I introduced Lady
Thesiger first. She stooped down to kiss the sweet face that seemed to
win universal love. Then I remember taking Agatha's hand and leading her
up to Clare. What could they have thought of me? I forgot everything
except that the two women I loved best were there together.

Lady Thesiger then turned toward mademoiselle. There was no kindly hand
extended, no warm greeting, no friendly words. Lady Thesiger made the
most formal of bows, Coralie returned it by one more formal still,
Agatha did the same, and a strange, constrained silence fell upon us
all.

Without a word mademoiselle quitted the room. The beauty of her face was
not pleasant in that moment; there was a glitter in her eye, a
compression of her lips that might have told any one to beware. Lady
Thesiger became her own natural self after Coralie's departure; she
talked so kindly to Clare that I could have kissed her hand in
gratitude.

I took Miss Thesiger to show her my sister's flowers; for no word of
mine woul