oldier; from my very birth,
Heaven cut me out for terror, not for love.
I had such fancies once, but now--

MALATESTA. Pshaw! son,
My faith is bound to Guido; and if you
Do not throw off your duty, and defy,
Through sickly scruples, my express commands,
You'll yield at once. No more: I'll have it so! [_Exit._

LANCIOTTO. Curses upon my destiny! What, I--
Ho! I have found my use at last--What, I,
I, the great twisted monster of the wars,
The brawny cripple, the herculean dwarf,
The spur of panic, and the butt of scorn--
be a bridegroom! Heaven, was I not cursed
More than enough, when thou didst fashion me
To be a type of ugliness,--a thing
By whose comparison all Rimini
Holds itself beautiful? Lo! here I stand,
A gnarled, blighted trunk! There's not a knave
So spindle-shanked, so wry-faced, so infirm,
Who looks at me, and smiles not on himself.
And I have friends to pity me--great Heaven!
One has a favourite leg that he bewails,--
Another sees my hip with doleful plaints,--
A third is sorry o'er my huge swart arms,--
A fourth aspires to mount my very hump,
And thence harangue his weeping brotherhood!
Pah! it is nauseous! Must I further bear
The sidelong shuddering glances of a wife?
The degradation of a showy love,
That over-acts, and proves the mummer's craft
Untouched by nature? And a fair wife, too!--
Francesca, whom the minstrels sing about!
Though, by my side, what woman were not fair?
Circe looked well among her swine, no doubt;
Next me, she'd pass for Venus. Ho! ho! ho! [_Laughing._]
Would there were something merry in my laugh!
Now, in the battle, if a Ghibelin
Cry, "Wry-hip! hunchback!" I can trample him
Under my stallion's hoofs; or haggle him
Into a monstrous likeness of myself:
But to be pitied,--to endure a sting
Thrust in by kindness, with a sort of smile!--
'Sdeath! it is miserable!

[_Enter_ PEPE.

PEPE. My lord--

LANCIOTTO. My fool!

PEPE. We'll change our titles when your bride's bells ring--
Ha, cousin?

LANCIOTTO. Even this poor fool has eyes,
To see the wretched plight in which I stand.
[_Aside._]
How, gossip, how?

PEPE. I, being the court-fool,
Am lord of fools by my prerogative.

LANCIOTTO. Who told you of my marriage?

PEPE. Rimini!
A fri