have been slowly
dropping, leaf by leaf, and passing away like fading flowers, Lillie
has learned to do much thinking. It sometimes seems to take a stab, a
thrust, a wound, to open in some hearts the capacity of deep feeling
and deep thought. There are things taught by suffering that can be
taught in no other way. By suffering sometimes is wrought out in a
person the power of loving, and of appreciating love. During the first
year, Lillie had often seemed to herself in a sort of wild, chaotic
state. The coming in of a strange new spiritual life was something
so inexplicable to her that it agitated and distressed her; and
sometimes, when she appeared more petulant and fretful than usual, it
was only the stir and vibration on her weak nerves of new feelings,
which she wanted the power to express. These emotions at first were
painful to her. She felt weak, miserable, and good for nothing. It
seemed to her that her whole life had been a wretched cheat, and
that she had ill repaid the devotion of her husband. At first these
thoughts only made her bitter and angry; and she contended against
them. But, as she sank from day to day, and grew weaker and weaker,
she grew more gentle; and a better spirit seemed to enter into her.

On this evening that we speak of, she had made up her mind that she
would try and tell her husband some of the things that were passing in
her mind.

"Tell John I want to see him," she said to her mother. "I wish he
would come and sit with me."

This was a summons for which John invariably left every thing. He laid
down his book as the word was brought to him, and soon was treading
noiselessly at her bedside.

"Well, Lillie dear," he said, "how are you?"

She put out her little wasted hand; "John dear," she said, "sit down;
I have something that I want to say to you. I have been thinking,
John, that this can't last much longer."

"What can't last, Lillie?" said John, trying to speak cheerfully.

"I mean, John, that I am going to leave you soon, for good and all;
and I should not think you would be sorry either."

"Oh, come, come, my girl, it won't do to talk so!" said John, patting
her hand. "You must not be blue."

"And so, John," said Lillie, going on without noticing this
interruption, "I wanted just to tell you, before I got any weaker,
that I know and feel just how patient and noble and good you have
always been to me."

"O Lillie darling!" said John, "why shouldn't I be? Poor little gir