is capable, and which youth excites in youth? When
we meet at her home, or amidst the quiet yet brilliant society which is
gathered round Madame de Ventadour or the Montaignes, with whom she is
an especial favourite; when we converse; when I sit by her, and her soft
eyes meet mine,--I feel not the disparity of years; my heart speaks
to her, and _that_ is youthful still! But in the more gay and crowded
haunts to which her presence allures me, when I see that fairy form
surrounded by those who have not outlived the pleasures that so
naturally dazzle and captivate her, then, indeed, I feel that my tastes,
my habits, my pursuits, belong to another season of life, and ask myself
anxiously if my nature and my years are those that can make _her_ happy?
Then, indeed, I recognize the wide interval that time and trial place
between one whom the world has wearied, and one for whom the world is
new. If she should discover hereafter that youth should love only youth,
my bitterest anguish would be that of remorse! I know how deeply I love
by knowing how immeasurably dearer her happiness is than my own! I will
wait, then, yet a while, I will examine, I will watch well that I do not
deceive myself. As yet I think that I have no rivals whom I need fear:
surrounded as she is by the youngest and the gayest, she still turns
with evident pleasure to me, whom she calls her friend. She will forego
the amusements she most loves for society in which we can converse more
at ease. You remember, for instance, young Legard? He is here; and,
before I met Evelyn, was much at Lady Doltimore's house. I cannot be
blind to his superior advantages of youth and person; and there is
something striking and prepossessing in the gentle yet manly frankness
of his manner,--and yet no fear of his rivalship ever haunts me. True,
that of late he has been little in Evelyn's society; nor do I think,
in the frivolity of his pursuits, he can have educated his mind to
appreciate Evelyn, or be possessed of those qualities which would render
him worthy of her. But there is something good in the young man, despite
his foibles,--something that wins upon me; and you will smile to learn,
that he has even surprised from _me_--usually so reserved on such
matters--the confession of my attachment and hopes! Evelyn often talks
to me of her mother, and describes her in colours so glowing that I feel
the greatest interest in one who has helped to form so beautiful and
pure a mind. Can