theses.

PEHR. And the historical hypotheses--cannot they be reached with gold?

BUTLER. They are non-corruptible--in this instance!

PEHR. What's the good of all my wealth if I cannot eat my fill when I'm
hungry? I am worse off than the poorest bellringer.

[Butler stations himself at the table, and stands like a statue.]

[Enter Tax Assessor and assistants, who walk about and take an
inventory.]

PEHR. Look--here's a new torture! With what shall you gentlemen pester
an innocent victim?

TAX ASSESSOR. Taxation, Your Grace.

PEHR. Indeed! So it is you who regulate people's worth. How high is a
human being estimated these days?

TAX ASSESSOR. Two per hundred, Your Grace;--all depends on what one is
good for.

PEHR. Tell me, can't I withdraw while the gentlemen figure up? for I am
both hungry and thirsty.

TAX ASSESSOR. Impossible! It must be done in the owner's presence.

PEHR. O Lord, what trials! But I may be allowed to sit down at least?

TAX ASSESSOR. As you please! [To assistants.] Two dozen plates
with beveled edges--write! Six wine-coolers, with handles of finer
metal--write! One sugar bowl, with sifting spoon, and two smaller
ditto--write! Two dozen knives, with handles of mother-of-pearl--brand
new--write!

PEHR. See if I don't go crazy!

TAX ASSESSOR. Dining table of oak, with double leaves--write! Six walnut
chairs. [Enter Lawyer.]

PEHR. One more!

LAWYER. Your Grace is summoned to the City Court to have tax No. 2867
legalized before twelve o'clock this day.

PEHR. The Court? Litigation? I never institute proceedings, sir!

LAWYER. It's not a question of litigation--only to verify facts.

PEHR. I don't wish to verify facts.

LAWYER. But to put the case--

PEHR. I don't want to put the case--I want my dinner! Butler, can't
I take a sandwich? [Butler raises staff threateningly; enter petty
constable.]

PEHR. Are there still more?

PETTY CONSTABLE. Your Grace is summoned to the Bar tomorrow at eleven
o'clock for neglecting to keep the street clean.

PEHR. Must I keep the street clean--I, who am such a rich man! What,
then, must I not do?

PETTY CONSTABLE. It is the duty of every householder to keep clean in
front of his own house.

PEHR. Etiquette, taxation, put the case, keep yard and street clean,
hunger and thirst--is that the rich man's lot! Then I would rather be
a street sweeper and own myself. And I'm not allowed to turn these
gentlemen out, who crowd into my room, and