ced to Burghley that he was about to attend a meeting of the
state-council the next day, for the purpose of a conference on these
matters at Arnheim, and that he would then set forth for England to
report proceedings to her Majesty. He supposed, on the whole, that this
was what was expected of him, but acknowledged it hopeless to fathom the
royal intentions. Yet if he went wrong, he was always, sure to make
mischief, and though innocent, to be held accountable for others'
mistakes. "Every prick I make," said he, "is made a gash; and to follow
the words of my directions from England is not enough, except I likewise
see into your minds. And surely mine eyesight is not so good. But I will
pray to God for his help herein. With all the wit I have, I will use all
the care I can--first, to satisfy her Majesty, as God knoweth I have ever
most desired; then, not to hurt this cause, but that I despair of."
Leicester, as maybe supposed, had been much discomfited and perplexed
during the course of these contradictory and perverse directions. There
is no doubt whatever that his position bad been made discreditable and
almost ridiculous, while he was really doing his best, and spending large
sums out of his private fortune to advance the true interests of the
Queen. He had become a suspected man in the Netherlands, having been, in
the beginning of the year, almost adored as a Messiah. He had submitted
to the humiliation which had been imposed upon him, of being himself the
medium to convey to the council the severe expressions of the Queen's
displeasure at the joint action of the States-General and himself. He had
been comforted by the affectionate expressions with which that explosion
of feminine and royal wrath had been succeeded. He was now again
distressed by the peremptory command to do what was a disgrace to him,
and an irreparable detriment to the cause, yet he was humble and
submissive, and only begged to be allowed, as a remedy for all his
anguish, to return to the sunlight of Elizabeth's presence. He felt that
her course; if persisted in, would lead to the destruction of the
Netherland commonwealth, and eventually to the downfall of England; and
that the Provinces, believing themselves deceived by the Queen; were
ready to revolt against an authority to which, but a short time before,
they were so devotedly loyal Nevertheless, he only wished to know what
his sovereign's commands distinctly were, in order to set himself to
thei