of a
ridicule. It would, as I said at the time, have been just as well to
have made it really a trades' ball, without any adulteration of the
gentry; but the hempies alluded to jouked themselves in upon us, and
obligated the managers to invite them; and an ill return they made for
this discretion and civility, as I have to relate.

On the nightset for the occasion, the company met in the assembly-room,
in the New-inns, where we had bespoke a light genteel supper, and had
M'Lachlan, the fiddler, over from Ayr, for the purpose. Nothing could be
better while the dancing lasted; the whole concern wore an appearance of
the greatest genteelity. But when supper was announced, and the company
adjourned to partake of it, judge of the universal consternation that was
visible in every countenance, when, instead of the light tarts, and nice
jellies and sillybobs that were expected, we beheld a long table, with a
row down the middle of rounds of beef, large cold veal-pies on pewter
plates like tea-trays, cold boiled turkeys, and beef and bacon hams, and,
for ornament in the middle, a perfect stack of celery.

The instant I entered the supper-room, I saw there had been a plot: poor
Bailie Kilsyth, who had all the night been in triumph and glory, was for
a season speechless; and when at last he came to himself, he was like to
have been the death of the landlord on the spot; while I could remark,
with the tail of my eye, that secret looks of a queer satisfaction were
exchanged among the beaux before mentioned. This observe, when I made
it, led me to go up to the bailie as he was storming at the bribed and
corrupt innkeeper, and to say to him, that if he would leave the matter
to me, I would settle it to the content of all present; which he,
slackening the grip he had taken of the landlord by the throat, instantly
conceded. Whereupon, I went back to the head of the table, and said
aloud, "that the cold collection had been provided by some secret
friends, and although it was not just what the directors could have
wished, yet it would be as well to bring to mind the old proverb, which
instructs us no to be particular about the mouth of a gi'en horse." But
I added, "before partaking thereof, wel'll hae in our bill frae the
landlord, and settle it,"--and it was called accordingly. I could
discern, that this was a turn that the conspirators did not look for. It,
however, put the company a thought into spirits, and they made the best