computed at two Doses, each at a Shilling; the
Spirit of Salt a Crown the Ounce; for the Stomach Electuary as much, for
the Clysters as before; for your Cordial in relation to the Pearl and
Bezoar, their Weight in Gold, which is Two-pence a Grain, the greatest
Cheat of my whole Discourse; for dressing your Blister a Shilling; for the
Plaister as formerly. Here I presume that Candour in you, as not to
believe me so disingenuous, as to take the Advantage of Apothecaries in
producing any other than the best Methods of their Practice, and that
which favours the least of their Frauds, for in Comparison with others
(though these are very palpable, in regard there is not a valuable
Consideration regarded as a _quid pro quo_) they are such as may be
judged passable; yet when you are to reflect upon the Total that shall
arise on the Arithmetical Progression of Charge of a Fortnights Physick,
modestly computed at about Fifteen Shillings a Day, without the Inclusion
of what you please to present him for his Care, Trouble, and Attendance, I
will not harbour so ill an Opinion of him, or give so rigid a Censure as
your self shall upon the following Oration your Clysterpipe Doctor
delivers to you with a melancholy Accent, in these Terms: Sir, I have made
use of my best Skill and Endeavours, I have been an Apothecary these
twenty Years, and upwards, and have seen the best Practice of our best
_London_ Physicians; my Master was such a one, Mr. ------ one of the
ablest Apothecaries of the City; I have given you the best Cordials that
can be prescrib'd; 'tis at your Instance I did it, I can do no more, and
indeed it is more properly the Work of a Physician; your Case is
dangerous, and I think, if you sent for such a one, Dr. ---- he is a very
pretty Man; if you please I will get him to come down. Now, Sir, how beats
your Pulse? The Loss of your Monies your Bills import, give Addition to
your Pain, through the Remembrance it is due to one that hath fool'd you
out of it, and deserv'd it no other way, than by adding Wings to your
gross Humours that before lay dormant, and now fly rampant up and down,
raking, and raging; which had you not been Penny wise and Pound foolish,
you would have prevented by sending for a Physician, who for the small
Merit of a City-Fee (for which you might also have expected two Visits)
would have struck at the Root of the Distemper, without tampering at its
Symptoms, or Branches, and by Virtue of one Medicine, restor'