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t--that--that snake. And then what?
"At any price, this must be stopped"; and out of the whirling maelstrom
of her thoughts came this: "If I cannot keep her from going, I'll go,
too!" How? In what capacity? Belle knew enough of his mind to be sure
that however the plan was carried out, it would shock his ideas of
propriety and be a losing game.
Lou-Jane was playing better than she was, and it maddened her ever more
as she realized that the present plans could end only in one way--the
way that she, at any price, must stop. And in the hours of tumult, of
reasoning every course out to its bitter end, this at length came clear:
There was but one way--that was _marry him now_. It was that or wreck
the happiness upon which both their lives had been built. And yet that
meant ruin to his whole career. She, herself, had told him so a hundred
times. "He must go back to college. He must not marry till his three
years were completed." These were her very words.
It seemed that ruin of his hopes was in one scale; ruin of hers in the
other. And she tried to pray for light and guidance; but there do seem
to be times when the Lord is not interested in our problems; at least,
no light or guidance of the kind she sought for came.
And she wrought herself up into a state of desperation. "At any price,
this must stop," she kept saying over and over. Every expedient was
turned in her mind and its outcome followed as far as she could; and
ever it came back to this--her hopes or his were to be sacrificed.
"_I will not let him go_," she said aloud, with all the force of a
strong will become reckless. "It would certainly be my grave; but it
need not be his. There are other colleges and other ways. I'm not afraid
of that. At any price, I must keep him. I'll marry him now. We'll be
married at once. That will settle it."
* * * * *
The storm was over. The one plan was clear. That she would take--take
and win; but, oh, how selfish she felt in taking it! She was sacrificing
his career.
Yet ever she crushed the rising self-accusation with the "There are
other colleges and other ways. I'll open the way for that." That was the
sop to her inner judge, but the motive power was this: "At any price I
must hold him." And convinced that the time had come to play her highest
trump she fell asleep.
* * * * *
The following morning found Belle fully prepared for energetic action.
Sh
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