what I am going to tell you is authentic, for the
events actually happened to the man who told me--I daresay some of you
know Bickerton?--or rather to an old friend of his, which, under the
circumstances, is practically the same thing. Well, this friend of
Bickerton's, whose name was--"

"Ings, Mullens, Doddridge, Finlayson," we all, except young Pitts,
murmured _sotto voce_.

"... Potherby, lived at--"

"Ponders End, Woking, Cleckheaton, Norwich," we added in a similar
manner.

"... Maidstone, and for some time had had in his employ a German
governess."

And so the tale went on until the Colonel got to the searching of the
trunk. "... and in it was found...."

"A service-rifle, three bombs, a loaded revolver, plans of
fortifications," we supplied as before.

"... incriminating letters showing clearly that for years the woman had
been in communication with the German Secret Service Bureau," concluded
our host.

Young Pitts left with me and walked to my house.

"I didn't hear any asides from you while the Colonel was repeating that
hoary old yarn," I said as we reached the gate. "Hadn't you heard it
before?"

"I heard it in the train this morning," Pitts answered.

"You don't believe it, surely?"

"Of course not. Amongst other reasons, because the man in whose house
the events were supposed to have taken place happens, I know, to be a
bachelor, and would not therefore require the services of a German
governess."

"Who was the person referred to in the version you heard?" I asked.

"You," he replied.

* * * * *

Illustration: _London Scot (proud of his English)._ "AW'LL BE HAME
ABOOT EICHT O'CLOCK THE NICHT, AN'----"

_Voice of Operator (obedient to Government instructions)._ "NO FOREIGN
LANGUAGES, PLEASE."

[_Cut off._]

* * * * *

Footwork.

"In a comparatively short time now, summer gardens will have to be
overhauled, the bedding-out plants taken up, cuttings taken, and the
ground prepared for next spring's display; all of which will be
labour usually regarded as _manual_, but which is well within the
capabilities of a strong intelligent woman."--_Country Life._

Who would of course regard such labour as womanual.

* * * * *

"Forming a hollow square in front of Webbe Tent, Lord Grenfell
addressed the corps, and complimented them on the work they had done
and th