ther who is in heaven. I now make
bold to ask you whether you are doing your best to lead such a life
as that?" And then he remained silent, waiting for an answer. He
was a singular man; so humble and meek, so unutterably inefficient
and awkward in the ordinary intercourse of life, but so bold and
enterprising, almost eloquent, on the one subject which was the work
of his mind! As he sat there, he looked into his companion's face
from out his sunken grey eyes with a gaze which made his victim
quail. And then repeated his words: "I now make bold to ask you,
Mr. Robarts, whether you are doing your best to lead such a life as
may become a parish clergyman among his parishioners?" And again he
paused for an answer.
"There are but few of us," said Mark, in a low tone, "who could
safely answer that question in the affirmative."
"But are there many, think you, among us who would find the question
so unanswerable as yourself? And even were there many, would you,
young, enterprising, and talented as you are, be content to be
numbered among them? Are you satisfied to be a castaway after you
have taken upon yourself Christ's armour? If you will say so, I am
mistaken in you, and will go my way." There was again a pause, and
then he went on. "Speak to me, my brother, and open your heart, if it
be possible." And rising from his chair, he walked across the room,
and laid his hand tenderly on Mark's shoulder. Mark had been sitting
lounging in his chair, and had at first, for a moment only, thought
to brazen it out. But all idea of brazening had now left him. He had
raised himself from his comfortable ease, and was leaning forward
with his elbow on the table; but now, when he heard these words,
he allowed his head to sink upon his arms, and he buried his face
between his hands.
"It is a terrible falling off," continued Crawley: "terrible in the
fall, but doubly terrible through that difficulty of returning. But
it cannot be that it should content you to place yourself as one
among those thoughtless sinners, for the crushing of whose sin you
have been placed here among them. You become a hunting parson, and
ride with a happy mind among blasphemers and mocking devils--you,
whose aspirations were so high, who have spoken so often and so well
of the duties of a minister of Christ; you, who can argue in your
pride as to the petty details of your Church, as though the broad
teachings of its great and simple lessons were not enough for
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