on sap,
Now vaulting from his seat to teach
The proper way to tap.

His swart disciples knit their brows
O'er algebraic signs;
They build their byres, they milk their cows
On scientific lines.

They use his microscope and gaze
On strange bacterial risks;
They tuns their daily hymns of praise
To gramophonic discs.

And every evening after grace,
When converts clear the cloth,
He pins an orchid to its place
Or camphorates a moth.

Out of the world his path may run,
Yet still in worldly wise
He'll talk of feats with rod or gun,
A twinkle in his eyes,

And tell of tiger-stalking nights,
Of mornings with the snipe,
With never a pause save when he lights
An antiquated pipe.

We others earn our pensioned ease,
The furlough of our kind;
We book our berths, we cross the seas,
But he shall stay behind,

Plodding his round of feast and fast,
Dreaming the dreams of yore,
Of England as he saw her last
In 1884.

J. M. S.

* * * * *

More Impending Apologies.

I.

"GREAT GALA NIGHT
WHEN
JOSEPHINE DAVIS
WILL BID 'AU REVOIR' TO BOMBAY
BY SPECIAL REQUEST."

_Bombay Chronicle._

II.

"At the hour of six the Rev. S. F. Collier gave out the only
possible hymn--

'And are we yet alive
And see each other's face!'"

_Yorkshire Post._

* * * * *

THE GESTICULATORS.

The supper-room was so full that I quite expected to find that, since
I was so late, the harassed head-waiter had taken the liberty of
presuming my death and letting someone else have my table; but there
it was, empty and ready for me. I sank into a chair with a feeling
of relief and, having ordered something to eat, began to examine the
room. There was not a spare place; everyone was eating and talking and
unusual excitement was in the air. From my remote corner I could not
catch any words, but the odd thing was that at every table one at
least of the men, who were all in evening-dress, was waving his arms.
Now and then a man would stand up to do this better. It was as though
they were all deaf and dumb, or cinema actors.

The next day at lunch I had a similar experience. I patronized another
restaurant, which seemed to be equally popular, and again every man
was gesticulating in a style totally