ll tell you that half a loaf is better than none.

--"A little of this will go a grate weigh," said the man who was
preparing a load of coal.

--Bertha breaks her doll, and it is sent out to be repaired. A few days
later, Bertha goes to the store after it, but it cannot be found.
"Her name is Marguerite," she explains, to facilitate the search.

--"Well, Tommy," said the visitor, "how do you like your baby brother?"
"Oh, lots and lots--only I don't think he's very bright!"
"Why not?"
"We've had him nearly two weeks now, and he hasn't said a word to
anybody."

--The letter S, we must confess.
Was never made in vain,
For, take it from your "stars and stripes,"
But tar and tripe remain.

--"Is that really a glass eye?" said Maude to the optician.
"Yes, miss."
"How strange! it is not transparent. How does the wearer see
through it?"

--A little girl, aged nine, called her father to her bedside the other
evening.
"Papa," said the little diplomat, "I want to ask your advice."
"Well, my little dear, what is it about?"
"What do you think would be best to give me on my birthday?"

--Little Girl: "I wish I was an angel."
Little Boy: "Why?"
Little Girl: "Then I wouldn't be 'fraid of ghosts."

--Small boy: "Been fishing, mister?"
Man: "Yes."
Small boy: "Can't I sell you some fish?"

--Perry has a very musical father and mother, and the little lad knows
good music from bad. His parents live in a city flat, and in the flat
just above it one afternoon a young lady was trying to sing and not
succeeding at all. Perry listened with a frowning brow for some time,
and then said to his grandmother:
"If this keeps up much longer, grandma, I shall die. And what do you
think you'll do?"

--Little Harold, out walking with his mamma, saw some men lifting a
square piano from which the legs had been taken, as usual, for
convenience in removal, and a happy thought struck him.
"Mamma, didn't you tell me the other day that our piano was an upright?"
"Yes, dear. Why?"
"Well, if ours is an upright, this must be a downright."

--The small boy taunts the teacher new,
And she in vain may fret,
She knows, whatever he may do,
He's "mommer's little pet."

--Mamma lay on the lounge, with her face toward the ceiling, when Jamie,
who lay beside her, asked her to "look." Mamma turned her eyes and
looked at him, without moving her head.
"No, no, mamma!" burst out the little fellow. "I want you to look at me
with your