of Hades served up
on a hot plate. There was no need for matches, all you had to do was to
put your unlighted cigar in your mouth and puff away. I was trying hard
to remember why I had on glasses,--they were of no use in the world to
me,--and I was also much astonished to find that I was wearing Seymour's
coat and hat, the latter a typical western slouch, broad-brimmed and
generous. I also sported a tie loud enough to frighten an automobile.
After pondering awhile upon this remarkable state of affairs, the
thought arose so far as I knew I might be Seymour myself! I was
strangely befuddled by the adventures of the past twenty-four hours, and
it was not long before I began to seriously argue with myself that I
_was_ Seymour,--undoubtedly Seymour,--indeed, why should I not be
Seymour as well as any one else? This masterly line of reason settled
it. I _was_ Seymour, and as an instructor and guide of youth I felt that
I ought to be thoroughly ashamed of myself for flocking with the
dissipated crowd I had just left. Acting upon this elevating thought, I
braced up considerably, assumed an air of virtue, and not knowing
exactly what to do next, joined a throng of people who were jostling one
another in their efforts to get on a steamboat. A sail, I fancied, would
do me no end of good, and as the ticket seller assured me with a smile
that the boat was perfectly safe and would return in a few hours, I went
aboard with the rest of the fools, children, and old folks. This I
accomplished after barely escaping a plunge into the river from what
struck me as being an exceedingly narrow gang-plank.

"The band struck up one of Sousa's lively marches, a hoarse whistle
sounded, the boat trembled all over, and we were off. As the _Charles
Auchester_ glided out into the stream, two young women with camp stools
in their hands pushed through the crowd at the entrance to the hurricane
deck--an elevation I had succeeded in attaining--and took their seats
near a life-raft upon which I reclined, Cleopatra-like.

"'Oh, aren't these excursions perfectly lovely, Ruby?' said the taller
of the pair, taking off her hat and dropping it in her lap.

"'Yes, and so cheap. All the way to Indian Head and back for a quarter.
It's a godsend for us poor tired folks who have to stay in town all
summer. And you know what that means, don't you, Pearl?'

"'Oh, yes, but don't let's talk about it,' said the other fretfully. 'I
try not even to think of what we will