as expected to steel his mind to the performance of some task
against which his finest instincts revolted even whilst his sense of
necessity urged him onward.

Talking with me on the occasion I have referred to above, in respect to
this volume which had left such weeds in his mind, he expressed to me his
great enthusiasm about the ideas it contained, and spoke with unmeasured
approval of its strong and powerful arguments against the existence of a
Deity, and then exclaimed, "You can imagine the impression which it
produced on me when I read it amid all the excitement of life at Kimberley
not long after leaving Oxford University." And he added in a solemn tone,
"That book has made me what I am."

I think, however, that Rhodes exaggerated in attaching such influence to
Reade's essay. He was very interested in the supernatural, a feature which
more than once I have had occasion to observe in people who pretend that
they believe in nothing. I suspect that, had he been able to air the
doubts which must have assailed him sometimes when alone in the solitudes
of Rhodesia, one would have discovered that a great deal of carelessness,
of which he used to boast in regard to morality and to religion, was
nothing but affectation. He treated God in the same offhand way he handled
men, when, in order to terrify them, he exposed before their horrified
eyes abominable theories, to which his whole life gave the lie. But in his
inmost heart he knew very well that God existed. He would have felt quite
content to render homage to the Almighty if only this could have been done
incognito. In fact, he was quite ready to believe in God, but would have
felt extremely sorry had anyone suspected that such could be the case. The
ethical side of Cecil Rhodes' character remained all through his life in
an unfinished state. It might perhaps have been the most beautiful side of
his many-sided life had he not allowed too much of what was material, base
and common to rule him. Unwillingly, perhaps, but nevertheless certainly,
he gave the impression that his life was entirely dedicated to ignoble
purposes. Perhaps the punishment of his existence lay precisely in the
rapidity with which the words "Rhodesian finance" and "Rhodesian politics"
came to signify corruption and bribery. Even though he may not have been
actually guilty of either, he most certainly profited by both. He
instituted in South Africa an utter want of respect for one's neighbour's
proper