FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   169   170   171   172   173   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193  
194   195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   208   209   210   211   212   213   214   215   216   217   218   >>   >|  
seen that letter." "Then you knew--but not all. Now I have had a sad relief. He told you of--well, of my life, of my mother's hopeless insanity--and the rest." "Yes--yes--all, I believe--all." "Not quite all. I have spent a part at least of every August with her; now at last she is dead. But my family story has left with me the fear of dying like my brothers or of becoming as she became. When I came to you I was a lonely soul, sick in mind and weak in body. I am better--far better--and now with some renewal of hope and courage I shall face my world again. You have had--you will have charity for my days of melancholy. I never believed that a priest should marry--and yet I did. I suffered, and never again can I dream of love. I am doubly armed by memory and by the horror of continuing a race doomed to disaster. There you have it all to my relief. There is some mysterious consolation in unloading one's mind. How good you have been to me! and I have been so useless--so little of what I might have been." Penhallow rose, set a hand on Rivers's shoulder, seeing the sweat on his forehead and the appeal of the sad eyes turned up to meet his gaze. "What," he said, "would our children have been without you? God knows I have been a better man for your company, and the mills--the village--how can you fail to see what you have done--" "No--no--I am a failure. It may be that the moods of self-reproach are morbid. That too torments me. Even to-day I was thinking of how Christ would have dealt with that miserable man, Peter Lamb, and how uncharitable I was, how crude, how void of sympathy--" "You--you--" said Penhallow, as he moved away. "My own regret is that I did not turn him over to the law. Well, points of view do differ curiously. We will let him drop. He will come to grief some day. And now take my thanks and my dear Ann's for what you have told me. Let us drop that too. Take a pipe." "No, I must go. I am the easier in my mind, but I am tired and not at all in the pipe mood." He went out through the hall, and with a hasty "good-night" to his hostess and "pleasant dreams--or none," went slowly down the avenue. The woman he left, with her knitting needles at rest a moment, was considering the man and his moods with such intuitive sympathy and comprehension as belongs to the sex which is physiologically the more subject to abrupt changes in the climate of the mind. As her husband entered, she began anew the small s
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   169   170   171   172   173   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193  
194   195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   208   209   210   211   212   213   214   215   216   217   218   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

Penhallow

 

sympathy

 
relief
 

points

 
regret
 

thinking

 
reproach
 

morbid

 
failure
 

torments


uncharitable

 
miserable
 

differ

 
Christ
 
intuitive
 

comprehension

 

belongs

 

moment

 

needles

 

avenue


knitting
 

entered

 
husband
 
climate
 

physiologically

 
subject
 

abrupt

 

slowly

 

hostess

 
pleasant

dreams
 

easier

 
curiously
 

lonely

 

brothers

 
charity
 

courage

 

renewal

 

family

 

mother


hopeless

 

insanity

 

letter

 

August

 

melancholy

 
believed
 

appeal

 

forehead

 

turned

 
Rivers