ging civilizations rolled over Europe, it became
apparent to the Almighty that a spacious lumber-room was needed, where
all the superfluous odds and ends that no longer fitted to the changed
order of things might be stowed away for safe-keeping. Now, as you
will frequently in a lumber-room, amid a deal of absolute dross,
stumble upon an object of rare and curious value, so also in America
you may, among heaps of human trumpery, be startled by the sparkle of
a genuine human jewel. Our friend here, I need not add, is such a
jewel, though cut according to the fashion of the last century, when
men went wild over liberty and other illusory ideals and when, after
having exhausted all the tamer kinds of dissipation, they amused
themselves by cutting each other's heads off. Far be it from me to
impute any such truculent taste to my honored guest. I only wish to
observe that the land from which he hails has not yet outlived the
revolutionary heresies of a century ago, that his people is still
afflicted with those crude fever fantasies, of which Europe was only
cured by a severe and prolonged bleeding. It has always been a
perplexing problem to me, how a man who has seen the Old World can
deliberately choose such a land as his permanent abode. I, for my
part, should never think of taking such a step until I had quarrelled
with all the other countries of the world, one by one, and as life is
too short for such an experience, I never expect to claim the
hospitality of Brother Jonathan under his own roof.

"As regards South America, I never could detect its use in the cosmic
economy, unless it was flung down there in the southern hemisphere
purely as ballast, to prevent the globe from upsetting.

"Now, the moral of these edifying remarks is that I would urge my
guest to correct, as soon as possible, the mistake he made in the
choice of his birthplace. As a man never can be too circumspect in
the selection of his parents, so neither can he exercise too much
caution in the choice of his country. My last word to thee is: 'Fold
thy tent, and pitch it again where mankind, politics and cookery are
in a more advanced state of development.' Friends, let us drink to the
health of our guest, and wish for his speedy return."

I replied with, perhaps, some superfluous ardor to this supercilious
speech, and a very hot discussion ensued. When the company finally
broke up, Dannevig, fearing that he had offended me, laid his arm
confidentially o