up on suspicion of being somebody very
different, the over-zealous proctor who had ordered her incarceration
was sued for damages for L300, and had to pay them too! Therefore the
gentleman in question most graciously and suavely inquired of Mr.
Theodore Hook--

'I beg your pardon, sir, but are you a member of this university?'--the
usual form.

'No, sir, I am not. Are you?'

The suavity at once changed to grave dignity. The proctor lifted up the
hem of his garment, which being of broad velvet, with the selvage on it,
was one of the insignia of his office, and sternly said,--'You see this,
sir.'

'Ah!' said Hook, cool as ever, and quietly feeling the material, which
he examined with apparent interest, 'I see; Manchester velvet: and may I
take the liberty, sir, of inquiring how much you have paid per yard for
the article?'

A roar of laughter from all present burst forth with such vehemence that
it shot the poor official, red with suppressed anger, into the street
again, and the merrymakers continued their bout till the approach of
midnight, when they were obliged to return to their respective colleges.

Had Theodore proceeded in this way for several terms, no doubt the
outraged authorities would have added his name to the list of the great
men whom they have expelled from time to time most unprophetically. As
it was, he soon left the groves of Academus, and sought those of Fashion
in town. His matriculation into this new university was much more
auspicious; he was hailed in society as already fit to take a degree of
bachelor of his particular arts, and ere long his improvising, his fun,
his mirth--as yet natural and over-boiling--his wicked punning, and his
tender wickedness, induced the same institution to offer him the grade
of 'Master' of those arts. In after years he rose to be even 'Doctor,'
and many, perhaps, were the minds diseased to which his well-known mirth
ministered.

It was during this period that some of his talents were displayed in the
manner we have described, though his great fame as an improvisatore was
established more completely in later days. Yet he had already made
himself a name in that species of wit--not a very high one--which found
favour with the society of that period. We allude to imitation, 'taking
off,' and punning. The last contemptible branch of wit-making, now
happily confined to 'Punch,' is as old as variety of language. It is not
possible with simple vocabularies, and accord