FIT OF CORRECTION.

A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools
did not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that
whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a
boy _smart_.

* * * * *

FRENCH AND ENGLISH.

"_C'est la Soupe_," says one of the best of proverbs, "_qui fait le
Soldat_;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our
troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact,
than their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery.
The English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals,
by which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt
to a cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the
same pot, and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than
the simple _Roti_ could ever be.

* * * * *

THE FAMILY SUIT.

The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative
practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform
him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause
which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years.
Instead of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran
of the law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by
this suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me,
and to portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it
would have furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your
children and grand-children."

* * * * *

PORK CHOPS.

It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to
summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other
grotesque or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the
feat by supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops.

* * * * *

ARDUOUS BAPTISM.

An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman,
who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of
the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual,
and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How
difficult this child is to baptize!"

* * * * *

DULL READING.

St. Jerome says, tha