t, Sir John Hawkins has related in such a
manner as to suggest a charge against Johnson of intentionally hastening
his end; a charge so very inconsistent with his character in every
respect, that it is injurious even to refute it, as Sir John has thought
it necessary to do. It is evident, that what Johnson did in hopes of
relief, indicated an extraordinary eagerness to retard his dissolution.
BOSWELL. Murphy (_Life_, p. 122) says that 'for many years, when Johnson
was not disposed to enter into the conversation going forward, whoever
sat near his chair might hear him repeating from Shakespeare [_Measure
for Measure_, act iii. sc. i]:--

"Ay, but to die and go we know not where;
To lie in cold obstruction and to rot;
This sensible warm motion to become
A kneaded clot; and the delighted spirit
To bathe in fiery floods."

And from Milton [_Paradise Lost_, ii. 146]:--

"Who would lose
Though full of pain this intellectual being?"'

Johnson, the year before, at a time when he thought that he must submit
to the surgeon's knife (_ante_, p. 240), wrote to Mrs. Thrale:--'You
would not have me for fear of pain perish in putrescence. I shall, I
hope, with trust in eternal mercy lay hold of the possibility of life
which yet remains.' _Piozzi Letters_, ii. 312. Hawkins records (_Life_,
p. 588) that one day Johnson said to his doctor:--'How many men in a
year die through the timidity of those whom they consult for health! I
want length of life, and you fear giving me pain, which I care not for.'
Another day, 'when Mr. Cruikshank scarified his leg, he cried out,
"Deeper, deeper. I will abide the consequence; you are afraid of your
reputation, but that is nothing to me." To those about him, he said,
"You all pretend to love me, but you do not love me so well as I myself
do." '_Ib_. p. 592. Windham (_Diary_, p. 32) says that he reproached
Heberden with being _timidorum timidissimus_. Throughout he acted up to
what he had said:--'I will be conquered, I will not capitulate.'
_Ante_, P. 374.

[1226] Macbeth, act v. sc. 3.

[1227] Satires, x. 356. Paraphrased by Johnson in The Vanity of Human
Wishes, at the lines beginning:--

'Pour forth thy fervours for a healthful mind,
Obedient passions and a will resigned.'

[1228] Johnson, three days after his stroke of palsy (ante, p. 230),
wrote:--'When I waked, I found Dr. Brocklesby sitting by me. He fell to
repeating Juvenal's ni