Chesterfield, as far as they could safely do it, without incurring
the public odium, by laying all the blame on his bad education. This
made all the mothers vow to God that none of their sons should ever set
a foot in Italy, lest they should bring back with them that infamous
custom of laying restraint upon their wives.

CHAPTER NINTH. VARIOUS LOVE INTRIGUES AT THE ENGLISH COURT

Every man who believes that his honour depends upon that of his wife
is a fool who torments himself, and drives her to despair; but he who,
being naturally jealous, has the additional misfortune of loving his
wife, and who expects that she should only live for him; is a perfect
madman, whom the torments of hell have actually taken hold of in this
world, and whom nobody pities. All reasoning and observation on these
unfortunate circumstances attending wedlock concur in this, that
precaution is vain and useless before the evil, and revenge odious
afterwards.

The Spaniards, who tyrannise over their wives, more by custom than
from jealousy, content themselves with preserving the niceness of their
honour by duennas, grates, and locks.

The Italians, who are wary in their suspicions, and vindictive in their
resentments, pursue a different line of conduct: some satisfy themselves
with keeping their wives under locks which they think secure: others
by ingenious precautions exceed whatever the Spaniards can invent for
confining the fair sex but the generality are of opinion, that in either
unavoidable danger or in manifest transgression, the surest way is to
assassinate.

But, ye courteous and indulgent nations, who, far from admitting these
savage and barbarous customs, give full liberty to your dear ribs,
and commit the care of their virtue to their own discretion, you pass
without alarms or strife your peaceful days, in all the enjoyments of
domestic indolence!

It was certainly some evil genius that induced Lord Chesterfield to
distinguish himself from his patient and good-natured countrymen, and
ridiculously to afford the world an opportunity of examining into the
particulars of an adventure which would perhaps never have been known
without the verge of the court, and which would everywhere have been
forgotten in less than a month; but now, as soon as ever he had turned
his back, in order to march away with his prisoner, and the ornaments
she was supposed to have bestowed upon him, God only knows what a
terrible attack there was ma