better go, Jimmy."

He made an effort to speak, but was too afraid of falsity in his voice.

"Very nearly a scene!" said Leila. "My God!

"How men hate them! So do I. I've had too many in my time; nothing comes
of them but a headache next morning. I've spared you that, Jimmy. Give
me a kiss for it."

He bent down and put his lips to hers. With all his heart he tried to
answer the passion in her kiss. She pushed him away suddenly, and said
faintly:

"Thank you; you did try!"

Fort dashed his hand across his eyes. The sight of her face just then
moved him horribly. What a brute he felt! He took her limp hand, put it
to his lips, and murmured:

"I shall come in to-morrow. We'll go to the theatre, shall we? Good
night, Leila!"

But, in opening the door, he caught sight of her face, staring at him,
evidently waiting for him to turn; the eyes had a frightened look. They
went suddenly soft, so soft as to give his heart a squeeze.

She lifted her hand, blew him a kiss, and he saw her smiling. Without
knowing what his own lips answered, he went out. He could not make
up his mind to go away, but, crossing to the railings, stood leaning
against them, looking up at her windows. She had been very good to him.
He felt like a man who has won at cards, and sneaked away without giving
the loser his revenge. If only she hadn't loved him; and it had been a
soulless companionship, a quite sordid business. Anything rather than
this! English to the backbone, he could not divest himself of a sense of
guilt. To see no way of making up to her, of straightening it out,
made him feel intensely mean. 'Shall I go up again?' he thought. The
window-curtain moved. Then the shreds of light up there vanished. 'She's
gone to bed,' he thought. 'I should only upset her worse. Where is Noel,
now, I wonder? I shall never see her again, I suppose. Altogether a bad
business. My God, yes! A bad-bad business!'

And, painfully, for his leg was hurting him, he walked away.

Leila was only too well aware of a truth that feelings are no less real,
poignant, and important to those outside morality's ring fence than to
those within. Her feelings were, indeed, probably even more real and
poignant, just as a wild fruit's flavour is sharper than that of the
tame product. Opinion--she knew--would say, that having wilfully
chosen a position outside morality she had not half the case for
brokenheartedness she would have had if Fort had been her husband:
Opini